You and Me
by Umi-chii
Summary: NEW 24th: Sieg shuts down under stress and Shuda tries his best to help him cope. Shuda/Sieg, from general to focused, slight to mild, varying on chapters and themes. Now includes Niebel, Iulius and the Glorys and the Raregloves.
1. 15: Hands Held High

Title: Hands Held High  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #15 – perfect blue  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii don't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

Warning: This is set after the manga, so obviously, **spoiler alert**.

A/N: Title inspired by a Linkin Park from their Minutes to Midnight album. The quotation followed is an excerpt from the song.

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**Hands Held High**

_For 30_kisses, #15_

'_With hands held high into the sky so blue_

_As the ocean opens up to swallow you.'_

Months had already passed since the last war. There are no more grey clouds covering the sky, no more frowns and sadness. Lives were sacrificed, and though it may have brought a lot of pain to those concerned, the reward is worth it. This Shuda has come to face and even after all these years, he still tells himself to simply accept the truth. There isn't much to be done about the past, especially when a life is lost. All he could do is to learn from it.

The redhead is walking along a street of Mildean, its road still bricked. The only thing that has changed is that instead of a grey and stormy sky, it's now perfect blue. Puffy clouds take up most of the space in the sky, yet the sunlight would still radiate through them. The sky here in Mildean is exceptionally different. It reminds him of something, something that he couldn't pin-point. In the end, he has traveled to the reminiscent city just to watch its sky.

Musica had asked him why he find sky-watching as his favorite past-time. The question made him think about it, made him thinking about that day when he met that blue-haired boy watching the sunset. At first he suspected that the boy would jump off the cliff he's standing on, hand leaning on an old cherry tree. When the boy made no notion of acknowledging his existence, Shuda had made his presence known. But the boy didn't even bother with him and Shuda didn't feel like bothering him so they just stood next to each other, staring at the setting sun. The next day, when Shuda went to the cliff again, he couldn't find the boy anymore. So he left Mildean a few hours after.

It was many years, during his time as a Demon Card general when he met the boy again, only this time he had matured, his pristine face now marred by the Guardian's mark. Shuda couldn't recognize him at first if it wasn't for the solemn look the boy—young man still wears. This time, the blue-haired man is watching the darkening blue sky from a balcony of the huge fortress. And the redhead didn't want to miss this chance of asking the Mildea.

"It won't be long before the sky completely darkens. Then the time will come, where darkness rules everyone's heart, and we'll have no stand in this world. Yet it also won't be long thereafter for the darkness to go away, before the sky becomes blue again."

Shuda reckons he had been staring at the young man that entire moment, eyes fixed at the tattoo of the Guardian. When he blinked, the other's back had already turned and was walking away from him. But Shuda had let him leave, despite of the urge to hold out his hand and tell him to stay a bit longer. That was the last time Shuda had met the young man with that sad face, as if there's no more hope left, because the next meeting they had, the young man had become a changed man.

"I had wondered at first why I find it strange for you to change sides. But then again, when I tried to picture it beyond the obvious, I realized that maybe; the reason is the same as mine."

Shuda didn't object when the mage shared his thoughts with him that night they'd spend together. It was that time when Shuda realized that despite of not being together that much, they're able to _connect_, as if like they've each other for so long. That was when Shuda recalled the blue-haired man hadn't answered his question at all during their last meeting, so he asked him again.

"The sky… it makes me feel peaceful. The blueness of it makes me feel like nothing will go wrong, that everything is perfect. It keeps me from thinking negativity."

That night, they watched the sky littered with twinkling stars. With hands held high, a promise was made, sealed with a chaste kiss. The promise to leave out all the rest, but not too much that they'll drift away from each other. The morning after, they both made the decision to go opposite paths. One to the east whiles the other to the west.

"After this insanity… please go back to Mildean… and I'll wait for you there."

Walking past an old woman selling cherry, Shuda moves his right hand over his remaining eye, covering it from the glare of the sun. Then he caught sight of a dove flying across the sky, its wings gliding across it, its eyes sparkling with happiness and freedom. It has made Shuda think of the mage he had grown to fond. Without thinking, the hand over his eye had moved to his lips, fingers caressing it softly as he remembered the promise they had made that was sealed with a kiss. Even without the other anymore, Shuda still believes that the promise has been kept and fulfilled. Out of whim, the redhead let a small smile creep up to his scarred face.

'_I'm back.'_

**END**


	2. 10: Breast Pockets

Title: Breast Pockets  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #10 – #10  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii don't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

A/N: AU. Breast pockets on jersey jackets. It rhymes. I don't know which is worse.

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**Breast Pockets**

_For 30_kisses, #10_

Walking inside the coffee house, Sieg stares ahead of the floor unaware of the redhead sitting in a couch that's always reserved for them. He sets down the bags with all those stuffs he has bought from the mall then flops down on the cushy couch.

"My God, I can't believe they raise the prices today." He grabs for the coffee mug on the table, only to slam it back after realizing that he hasn't ordered any yet. "Imagine all those stuffs I wasn't able to buy."

"Yeah, because you do, you'll notice something _really_ new right here beside you." Shuda says, before flipping another page from the magazine. The blue haired man turns his head and glare at Shuda.

"You jackass don't seem to understand the meaning of 'shopping' before the prices go high." He sneers at the redhead, jabbing his finger at the jacket… then he noticed it. The feeling of fuzzy felt cloth.

"Oh. My. God."

Shuda's smirking, and he's smirking like mad.

"You… you bought yourself a new jacket. And it's blue!"

Now Shuda's not just smirking, he's grinning, too.

"And you didn't even tell me about it!"

Then his smirk and grin disappeared when a smack come flying over his head. Somehow, he feels like he just got everything in his face wiped over.

"You, jackass! I knew it. You're a total, complete, utterly disgraceful jackass."

Before he knew it, Sieg's already packing his things and getting ready to leave the coffee house. Out of desperation, Shuda clings onto his coat's tail, a finger pointing violently on the breast pocket of his jacket. Who would put breast pocket in a jacket anyway?

"Now look. It has a number 15 on it and it's—"

"And that's what makes matters worse, aside from it being blue!"

That afternoon, Shuda can't believe it in himself that he got whipped again by a trenchcoat. But worse of all, it's the fact that he'll be sleeping in the couch for more than a week.

Months pass and Shuda still hasn't been able to get a word out of the blue head. Whenever Sieg would pass by, he would only end up with an ugly red mark on his cheek, made either by hair or a bag. He's also still thanking the heavens for deciding not to forego the hand.

Just as the scholar is about turn the corner, Shuda quickly latches himself onto the other's arm, pulling him sideways onto the sidewalk, ignoring the other's curses.

"Would you please—"

"Look. I know I've been a jerk even though I don't know how."

He receives a glare but this Shuda ignores for the sake of his jacket. Pointing at his jacket again, now in a vibrant shade of red, Shuda keeps on hopping from one foot to another. But when the other shows no sign of recognition, Shuda tugged on a hem harder, showing off the breast pocket. Again, no one still understands why fashionistas put breast pockets on jersey jackets.

"It's red. Yes, I noticed that since I was three blocks away."

The deadpan answer doesn't register anything inside Shuda's head though, since he keeps on tugging and pointing on his jacket, grinning like an idiot. Sadly, the other still couldn't get the idea.

Quirking an eyebrow, Sieg debates with himself whether or not it's wise to just leave the redhead alone in the sidewalk. It can really save him a lot of odd looks coming from people around.

"Seriously, Shuda—"

"But it's red with a #10 on it! In white, too! Don't ye like it when they come in white?"

That morning, under a bright sun and cool wind around the air, Shuda has been able to redeem his pride. And the many nights of no sex, too. In fact, his ego's been stroked to an even higher degree when he's pulled into a hot steamy kiss, right in the middle of a sidewalk of a rather conservative town.

**END**


	3. 8: Of Candles and Churches

Title: Of Candles and Chapels  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #8 – our own world  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii don't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

A/N: I was actually idea-less for two months. Was pushed to write it when the purging came around… and also because Jesse McCartney revived the little bunny. I also tried for the metaphorically kind of kiss thing, but somehow, I failed. 'sides, it's more like a simile… then again, it still sucks. So I apologize. Gah.

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**Of Candles and Chapels**

_For 30_kisses, #8_

To Shuda, there was no road for home because there existed no home for him. Wandering around the world was all he does. He could barely recall his childhood where he used to have a home. Heck, he barely believed he had a home, much less a house, because to him, all that mattered was that he had his own world; a world he cherished and will not share with others.

So when he found Sieg, who had a house but didn't have a home, outside a chapel in Mildean drenched to the bone from the cold rain, everything started to change. Before he knew it, his world was shared with another until it became _their _world.

He dragged the man inside the chapel and tried his damnedest to heal him back to the okay health despite of the ruined insides of the steeple. The only light he had came from the melted candles, whose wicks drooped slightly within the melted wax. Deciding he'll need more warmth to help the other, he produced fire himself with just two rocks.

Though the fever was easy to beat, the stubborn attitude of the man wasn't. Fed up with his attitude, Shuda left him alone inside to the warmth of the chapel, like how he had found him outside in the coldness of the rain. He left Mildean the morning to continue on wandering around the world.

Three years later, he stumbled back onto the city, and ultimately, the chapel. When he entered the old battered building, he was surprised to find the insides of it in a well condition. Stepping inside, he inspected the entire inside and was surprised at the state it was now in. Last he heard, they're going to pull down the place, which was probably why he had found Sieg there in the first place.

Then he noticed said man standing before a row of candelabrums, lighting the candlesticks with a fired match. He approached him slowly and stopped when he was a few feet away from him, staring at the back covered by a white coat embedded with the guardians' insignia. His eyes then traveled to the hand that was lighting the candles, noticed how the flame would flicker by the slow moving of the mage's hand.

"Hey."

The other man didn't look up. He continued lighting the candles. Shuda sighed and decided it was best to leave the other to himself. Just as he was about to turn, he heard a soft hissing sound coming from the direction of the other man. Looking up, he saw Sieg dipping the match into a glass jar of oil. He didn't know what caused it, but a part of him was fascinated with the way the match hissed and Sieg watched with disinterest at how the fire was purged.

"I always thought it would be a shame to let this place go down the ruins." He started, still ignoring Shuda. "It took me easier to win this place back, actually. The only condition was to rebuild it. So I did. Besides, it's the only way I can finish the Harts' savings without letting others have their hands on it once I'm gone."

Shuda watched with wonder at how Sieg handles things. Everything he does is just so bizarre, so extreme. Unlike any rich men out there, Sieg finds boredom in his vast wealth. He barely used them. Instead, he just left them lying in a pile in the bank, collecting interests and all those stuffs. He had figured his parents would be giving them away to his relatives instead of him, since he was never quite the type of son either of his parents deemed worthy of being called a son.

So when the will directed that the money goes to him, Sieg only frowned as more trouble will be coming his way. At first, he had decided of donating them all to charity. That was, until that day when he met Shuda in the red light district.

Letting go of control was another bizarre thing Sieg does to get rid of the stress within his system. And after sharing one rather delightful night with the redhead, some sort of wired relationship paved its way itself into their lives. Soon, their separate worlds became their own world. It was like the star was finally able to kiss the sky to become one with it.

"So you spent most of your time here?"

"Yeah. Couldn't think of anything else to do in the tower or in my house." It was never 'my home' to Sieg. It was always 'my house'.

Like a cord being snapped, Sieg turned around and gave him a small smile, eyes half-closed at peace. He tilted his head to the side, inquiring Shuda with those dazzling purple eyes.

"Now that you're back, why don't you take me somewhere for dinner? Like a date."

"Never caught you as the dating kind of guy." Shuda smirked at him, handing out an arm which Sieg gladly took to wind his own with. Leaving the chapel together arm in arm, they both left the place and into the snowy town of Mildean, far too occupied in their own world to notice the snow.

**END**


	4. 7: Shut It, Dope

Title: Shut It, Dope  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: # 7 -- Superstar  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii don't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

A/N: I'm writing this before I get scratched off the list. School really got me. But heck. Am writing this for the sake of preserving the love that is Rave and Shuda/Sieg… I think I owe Sieg a lot for ignoring him… .;

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**Shut It, Dope**

_For 30_kisses, #7_

Experiment City is the only city in the Song continent where life really buzzes. Down every street you walk dead in the middle of the night, there's always light emanating from bright neon billboards and ads. Shops are always open 24/7, with their mannequins always changing costumes.

Out of all these shops that never sleep, there is only one certain building—an apartment-type building, actually, that has a certain unit where it is dull, its light barely open even during evenings. Rumor has it that it belongs to an old maid. The wilder one says it's haunted, its previous owner probably murdered after a bout in some random casino. But everyone goes along with the belief that its owner is actually just too busy with life that no one notices him or her move out and about the house.

One particular, a man walked up the stairs of the building to his apartment room. Juggling the many bags and grocery bags he's carrying, he fished for his key hanging on his neck. He has to bend low to be able to insert the key into the keyhole. Opening the door with a nudge by the hips, he steps into his house, flicking the lights along the way and closed the door with another nudge, this time made by a boot-clad foot.

Outside the apartment building, a group of young teenagers, three girls and two boys, stare at the apartment now glowing with light. They stare at it and stare even harder. They just couldn't believe their eyes. The house that they perfectly thought is haunted and abandoned actually belongs to none other than world-famous superstar, Sieg Hart.

Grabbing hold of themselves, they quickly run away from the street, clutching their mobile phones. One by one, they send messages to all they know that they finally find out who lives in that house, and where the superstar lives.

[xxx]

Shuda is a very ordinary man, as ordinary as a rich designer with eccentric tastes can be. Everything he designs has fur in it. It always blazes with something no one could put a finger on. Though his attitude is something that must be aware of (an example of this is how he had handled the lawsuit filed against him about animal testing and killing for his products), he still manages to land himself a place in the fashion line district's respect.

Anyway, the entire has been stressful. Photo shoot this and romping down the ramp that, Shuda decides he really deserves a breather, hence the reason why earlier, he called his traveling agency to fix him a flight to Mildesta. Mildesta always has that feeling beaches bring to its visitors. Shuda thinks he needs just that.

So, grabbing his black coat and bag, he left the office with sunglasses protecting him from another onslaught of paparazzi. The last bout with them didn't end quite well.

Suffice to say, Shuda ends his day with a hot mug of cocoa milk, enjoying the last of his city days inside his own apartment, heaters on to save Milkins, his snowy white cat, from catching the cold. Midnight comes, the time when Shuda brings himself to sleep, eager to go and have his much deserved vacation.

[xxx]

The train ride to Mildesta is no doubt horrible. Sieg couldn't think otherwise. The moment he stepped into the train, people of all genders and kinds and sizes mobbed him, eager to get at least a piece of his _flesh_. Some went to the point of trying to dognap Chokies, his dear Siberian husky. The large dog of course chomped on the hands that had tried to assault both him and his master. By the time he was able to be escorted to his private room, Sieg was very grateful of his bodyguards and realized that there's actually something good in having them.

Ignoring those run-ins with gay fans inside the washroom, and how the candy vendors really forced him to buy some chocolate frogs, Sieg was able to survive the entire ordeal. If it wasn't for this stupid photo shoot as a model of some fashion brand, he would've been enjoying the cold only his apartment could provide. He actually fears that Chokies might not be able to handle the tropic of Mildesta.

Grabbing hold of the large dog's collar, he fixes it and keeps its long gray fur from covering it; he couldn't warrant for some unwanted arrest on his dog by the pound.

Once he's outside the train, Sieg's happy for the new breath of air. Clean oxygen fills his lungs, his diaphragm expanding as he inhales then exhales. Even Chokies is happy for the new change of environment, despite he lost the cold.

Walking across the port and into the limousine waiting for him outside, Sieg mentally rechecks his schedule for the day, absently looking for his planner kept somewhere inside his bag.

Opening it, he reckons he's free for most of the morning. He'll be attending a lunch meeting together with the Leagrove's executive officers, and then on the afternoon, he'll be taken to the studio to start the photo shoot. He can do anything he wants for the rest day.

Letting one of his assistant take Chokies to the hotel first (he knew Chokies need the aircon badly before he goes bald), Sieg heads straight to a resort that's a few blocks away from the hotel he's staying at, to check up on it. He has plans on enjoying the rest of his day in the beach.

[xxx]

One good thing a tropical rest house disguising as an island can do to the mind is that it actually protects it from unnecessary forces of mankind. Mildesta is the safest haven anyone can go to, where the stress and pressure of city life remains outside. It is where media cameras can't flash, no microphones and recorders being shoved at your face. Instead of inhaling nasty carbon dioxide that's worse than cancer sticks, clean and warm breeze of oxygen gas enters your respiratory system and all you can do against it is just relax and ease strained muscles. It's basically where the mind can be at its greatest ease.

That's why Shuda is dead set on savoring his entire stay here in Mildesta. Since his arrival, he has thrown away all of his worries. Wearing nothing but his beach shorts, with palm trees design, he lounges on a beach bench, sipping coconut milk, definitely oblivious to the outside world.

Children are running around the beach; some were playing with sandcastles. Lifeguards are stationed at their posts high atop their high chairs, while couples sneak the time to caress each other's body with lotion slicked hands. With Milkins happily catnapping on her own beach towel beside him, Shuda's happy and content. There's nothing else in this world that can keep him from leaving the island.

"Yes, I would like to reserve a room…"

Though the voice seems a tad too familiar, Shuda did his best to ignore it. He keeps his eyes closed behind blue tinted sunglasses, the shadow cast by his huge umbrella helping him from getting up to check whoever's talking.

"No, no. It'll just be me and my dog…"

Who the hell comes to beach along with his dog? Shuda could feel an eyebrow twitching, but he berates himself; he's the guy who came to this island alone with no one but his cat. They're just the same, anyway. Not that Shuda's actually planning to greet and introduce himself to one of his same pathetic kinds. Oh no, he's far too respected for that.

"Alright, that'll be enough. Thank you very much."

"Seriously, Sire, it's nothing. It's always our pleasure to do business with someone so great like you," Shuda's ears start to perk. The twitching of his eyebrow becomes erratic, and Shuda doubts he could keep his curiosity at bay. "In fact, will you just wait a moment here and let me get my camera? My daughter really _adores_ you, sire. I bet she would do _any_thing just to be able to take a picture alongside the great Sieg Hart."

Now THAT name hit the jackpot. Shuda quickly shot upright, his cheek twitching along with his eyebrow. His eyes are wide behind the brim of sunglasses that has fallen off from its place, now dangling against his face. His sudden jolt surprised even Milkins, who woke up from her catnap to glare at her master.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Her eyes tell him. Shuda blinks at the cat and blinks again, silently telling her he doesn't know at all. The cat only hissed at him, obviously telling him how stupid he is.

But Shuda ignores his cat anyway. A part of him truly wants to turn around and sneak a glance at his old colleague who he's very sure is just right behind him. But the latter part of him doesn't want to at all, because facing an old face means facing the damned history they both share. And Shuda is in no mood to recount memories that are either spent in bed or in couches. Seriously, their past relationship is so bizarre to the point of being pathetic and stupid. Probably this is the reason why they both live alone with only a pet to keep them company. This is also probably why they're so pathetic and stupid to the core.

Against his inner desire's will, Shuda turned his head and looked at the other man behind him, his blue hair tied back in a tight, short ponytail. Loose strands fell from the tie and frame his handsome, pointed face, accenting the shape of his almond-shaped eyes.

Sieg is obviously conversing with the resort owner with too much amore. Sieg is always like that, Shuda thinks. Sieg is always too easy with the people around him, always gets into chats heartily, not caring whether or not he's talking to a paparazzi or a kidnapper bound to drag him away in exchange of cold, hard cash.

Finally, after a few seconds, the actor slash model turns around then sees the redhead with his crooked sunglasses hanging above the bridge of his nose.

Sieg stares at the redhead with wide eyes, trying to process through his brain why the face seems oh-so-familiar. When he recognizes the scowl and the bored look, not to mention the twitch of a cheek and an eyebrow, it finally dawn on him that hey, this guy is none other than that designer dude who he had broke up with two years ago! There's really no mistake!

Mouth opening in realization, Sieg quickly ignores the blabbering of the resort owner, much to his own surprise, and quickly marches straight at Shuda. Shuda is caught surprised too, suddenly jerking back from the approaching mind. His idea of an ideal vacation in a tropical island alone with only his cat has shattered. And to think it's by none other than the supermodel slash actor who had dumped him two years ago… Shuda groaned internally at the memory of it.

"You're Shuda, right?" the superstar asked him.

Great. He's not even sure on the person of his own ex-boyfriend. That's real nice, you know. Such a nice blow to Shuda's manly pride, that is.

"Whaddya gonna do if I am?" The designer asked back.

Sieg is greatly taken aback. This guy still hasn't learned to throw away that stupid western accent?! He should've known by now it's actually one of the two reasons why he broke up with him! He felt his lips curl up with a grimace, withholding the inner desire to smack the guy upright at the head.

Instead, Sieg smiles his million dollar worth of smile, the smile he always uses against unwary directors, designers and producers to convince them to hire him. Out of all people who the smile is always used against, Shuda is one of the two only persons who remain unaffected by it. The other was Sieg's little brother, punk and pop singer Niebel. But anyway, he's another story.

Shuda remains nonchalant when the smile was shined on him. He's actually quite used to it. It's a bit sad though that Sieg never learns that the smile has no effect on him, no matter how hard or how many times he uses it on him. He wouldn't even doubt it if his resistance to it is actually one of the reasons why he was dumped. Then again, it actually isn't. In fact, Shuda's ability to resist it is actually why Sieg never stop pursuing Shuda. It's the weird western accent that did the final act.

Reaching a hand to fix his sunglasses, Shuda stares coldly at the man who had dared—and did, in fact, to dump him. Sieg only blink at him innocently, very unaware of the thousands of daggers Shuda's throwing and stabbing him with his eyes. Then suddenly, the spell of indifference surrounding them breaks as Sieg smiles again. This time though, it's not a fake smile. It's a true and honest smile that Sieg usually reserves for Shuda whenever the redhead is being a dope.

Shuda glared at the star and opened his mouth, saying, "Are you even aware of the fact that—"

"Shut it, dope." Sieg quickly cut him in. Pressing a finger against the designer's lips, Sieg smiled at him again wholeheartedly before pressing a soft peck of kiss on the redhead's cheek.

Quickly heating up, Shuda bats away the hand that was still holding him and glares even harder at the laughing model. Without a care of the world, Sieg keeps his smile and winks at the red, promising him another night to redeem himself, hoping that this time someone will remember to keep his condoms to himself and not to speak with that damn western accent in between strenuous activities on the bed.

Shuda bets he couldn't care less about any complaints the model will throw at him. After all, he has been getting away from the trouble for seven years already.

**END**


	5. 21: Ducklings and Marshmallows

Title: Ducklings and Marshmallows  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #21 - violence; pillage/plunder; extortion  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii don't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

A/N: Saw the theme and something flashed in mah head. Not to mention a week without any internet can really drive someone to write… a hell lot.

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**Ducklings and Marshmallows**

_For 30_kisses, #21_

Whenever Sieg thinks of Shuda, he recalls nothing else but violence. Shuda is a fiery man, a man who follows the current of his emotions. The man who could be such a brute has always followed his intuitions to resort to punches when things aren't going on nicely. Shuda never depends on words. Never once has he depended on words, which makes it even harder for Sieg to properly communicate with the man. Even the course of their heated passion, the man is never the fluffy type of lover. He doesn't mutter sweet nothings to his ears or whisper those three words when they're kissing. Sieg even doubts it Shuda has said those three words more than once in their entire shared life. Cuddles after a bout of love making is great and rather sweet, but it's always topped by those three words Sieg has been dying to hear.

He couldn't think of anything else to make the other to _say _something that doesn't include a hand motion. Even if he's a very silent man and prefers avoiding unnecessary conversations, Sieg is never one to pass up the chance to express his love in the form of words. He's a wall, for god's sake. But Shuda? He's not a wall either. He's a bulldozer. A moving something that can make anyone go nuts and destroy anything that's standing in the way just to accomplish something.

And now, watching Shuda flipping the channels with annoyance and boredom plastered all across his face, Sieg couldn't think of anything else to make the other talk.

"Hilda called me today. She mentioned something about…"

He stopped in mid sentence, to see if the redhead will react. The redhead didn't. Sieg felt an eyebrow twitch. The redhead didn't even notice that he had talked. How could the people in this world call him the antisocial when in fact, this man he's with is actually worse than him ten folds. It's ironic, seriously ironic.

"Hey."

Sieg was internally fuming far too much to hear the other speak. So, he was greatly startled when suddenly, Shuda appeared in front of him, red eyes eyeing him with a quirked eyebrow. Sieg's cheeks flushed, hands batting the head away.

"What?! Don't creep up on me like that!"

Sieg didn't know if that had caused Shuda to draw back and stop whatever he's planning to say, but he's sure that the redhead had finally initiated something in the form of a word. It's an improvement. And he just hoped his mean words weren't going to stop Shuda from going on.

"You were the one saying something then stopping in mid sentence."

Shuda was still staring at him oddly, as if he's an eyesore. Sieg could feel the redhead's true aura though. Whenever Shuda's giving people that look, it means he's piqued and wants to know more. This Sieg knew because of that one incident in the kitchen when Sieg started rambling about marshmallows in hot chocolate milks is stupid when the marshmallows will end up getting melted by the hot water. He could remember the redhead's inquiring eyebrow, lips up in an amused smile.

The blue headed mage blinked and blinked at again, and blinked some more when a hand passed over his sight. He finally caught his train of thought and stilled it before going back to present. The redhead asked him again, finger poking his forehead.

"Well? What did Hilda said?"

The poke didn't even register in his cloudy brain. This is the first time Shuda was talkative with him. When it comes to the two of them, it's always Sieg who becomes the loudmouth that whenever they're together in public, people always wonder how odd they could get. Neither of the two cared, and they're not starting to.

"Oi. Wake up, will ya?"

That last blink finally brought Sieg back to the present. Shaking off his thoughts, he went back to staring at Shuda. Finally, after a few more seconds, he found his voice and spoke, cringing at himself when he heard himself croak. Shuda only regarded him with another raised eyebrow then chuckled. He kept going on in between chuckles and stifled laughs. The fumes returned, annoying the mage again. Why can't Shuda be anywhere near normal? One of them is already not normal since birth. They don't need the other half to also not be normal. It's insane.

But maybe that's the reason why the redhead had grown into Sieg so much. To him, Shuda is his life, his everything. He couldn't imagine a life without the redhead even more. Even if the redhead had to stay as a cactus in the background of a scene in his future, Sieg wouldn't mind. At least there's still Shuda.

"You know," Sieg started and Shuda stopped. They both stared at each other, their faces only inches away. Sieg is really restraining himself from inching closer and kiss the man and out in the couch. The couch needs more loving from them. It's been days since they've done it in the couch. "I just noticed you could actually destroy the vacuum cleaner when you make it swallow a live duckling."

It was anticlimactic and Sieg couldn't help it but stab himself multiple times for being such a dork. He's a dork. He's now officially a dork because what he had said is just plain stupid and dorky. What's with ducklings and vacuums anyway? That's even what he's supposed to say! That's not even what Hilda had told him! That's what Felicia had told him last time they had tea party!

"Okay…"

The redhead is inching away from him, real slowly as if he's trying to conceal his runaway motive from the mage. Sieg couldn't stop himself from yanking the redhead's shirt and throwing him down the couch. Shuda's being too cute. He's being too adorably, insanely cute. Sieg didn't even care if he's admitting he's a real sucker for cute stuffs.

Without a warning, he kissed the redhead hard, hands fisting the front of Shuda's shirt. The rest of Shuda's questions were muffled as Sieg plundered his mouth him entirely, not even giving Shuda the chance to top him. the mage only pulled away when the time comes for the two of them to remember to breathe and inhale. Panting, they stared at each other. Shuda swore his throat was parched dry from that kiss.

"What," Eyes locked together as they panted for air. "In the hell was _that_?"

It took them a few more pants and large intake of breath before Sieg finally smirked at him, albeit a bit lopsided.

"That's for not bothering to talk."

The rest of their activities for the night, which was scarce to begin with, were pushed away for some few rounds of loving on the couch. Even the couch was happy that _finally_, it got some loving of its own.

**TBC**


	6. 24: Resublimity

Title: Re-sublimity  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #24 –good night  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii don't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

Warning: Spoilers for the Symphonia arc.

A/N: It's been so long since the last time I write something SS. In fact, it seems like I only write SS if it's for the comm. I believe it's high time for me to go back to writing what I always write of. And yes, I lack originality in naming characters. Orz.

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**Re-sublimity**

_For 30_kisses, #24_

It was so late at night when Shuda finally went to sleep. After staring at a starless sky for no apparent reason, he brought it down to himself that there's really nothing he could do much now that life's adventure has ended. Life for him had become such a drag, and each day had become a dull, daily routine. He would wake up, fix his bed, take a morning shower, eat breakfast then change to his work clothes, which is basically some black suits and tie (and a pair of cool black shades. Never forget those shades.). Shuda still couldn't believe he had opted being a bodyguard for hire, instead of a bounty hunter again.

_Maybe it's because there's sparsely a head left to hunt._ Indeed, maybe that's the reason. Now, he lives by taking orders from a young heir to a huge mafia family. Gone are the wanted lists with rewards, along with his sword because Shuda decided that if he's going to deal with some Mafioso's enemies, he'd rather do it in a really long distance without losing an eye on his young charge.

Basically speaking, ever since Demon Card and the Dark Brings were vanquished, all evil that's left in the world were just tiny fractions of said organization, waiting to be cultivated.

And now that Shuda had retired from saving the world, he's more disconnected from the others. He couldn't stay in contact because of his duties as a bodyguard (Musica had teased him once of being a kid's nanny) for fear of bringing dangers to his liege.

A loud, rasped knocking rained down on his door. Before he could go and answer it, the door opened and came tumbling down over it was a young kid with bright blonde hair as if spun from gold. Wide, innocent blue eyes widened at the fall, pale hands flailing helplessly as gravity pulled the child down to the floor. Shuda only sighed at the young boy before kneeling beside him, pulling his young liege up to his feet.

"Owowowow…"

"Aren't you supposed to be in bed?"

The blond kid only pouted at him, rubbing his forehead. If that spot developed a bruise tomorrow morning, Shuda's going to make delicate measures in handling the child.

Large, calloused hand grabbed hold of the kid's arm, pulling along with it the soft, silken sleeves, revealing the tattoo already inked to the child's skin. Shuda had witnessed the child being inked just last month; a phoenix with glowing embers on its three tails. It took up the most of his upper body's left porting, starting from the clavicle, trailing over his shoulder, arm and finally on the back of his hand.

Pretending he didn't feel the slight wince the bubbly kid made, Shuda stood up, his hand still holding onto the arm as his little master decided clinging to him is the best thing to do. The inner fatherly spirit of Shuda flared up at the sight, cursing at the kid's own father for ignoring him.

"Seriously, Jeral," Of all bodyguards Jeral had, only Shuda's the one who called him by his name instead of the mandatory 'Boss' and gets away with it. "You're bringing more trouble onto _both_ of us." If only the kid could feel his emphasis on the word, Shuda would feel really, immensely happy. But alas, the kid was too young and carefree to heed signs of trouble.

"It's sooooo _boring _in my room! The maids closed the lights and I couldn't reach it, that's why I couldn't sleep so nyah." Shuda sighed, and watched the kid flailing his arms again. He loves doing that while talking, Shuda noted.

"Are you even aware that it's past 12?"

"…No?"

Shuda sighed again. "What am I going to do with you?" he mumbled to himself, which the boy replied with a grin and a too-happy chirp. "Tuck me to bed, obviously."

Sometimes, it greatly annoys Shuda that the kid, albeit a little clumsy, can be too smart for someone his age. True, his studies were more advanced than others considering what kind of family he belongs to but his wit… it's too beyond Shuda's line of handling.

Grunting a 'Fine', Shuda let the kid tugged and pulled him out of his room. Walking past multiple doors and stairways, (Shuda made sure not to trip on the stairway's carpet) they finally arrived outside Jeral's room, its doors left open widely to the world.

"How many times must I tell you—"

"More than eighteen for this week. Now _come on_!"

Being pulled even inside the kid's room, Jeral detangled both of their fingers (Shuda only realized it now that the kid had actually laced their fingers together) and pounced onto his bed, giggling like the kid he is. Shuda had opened the lights when he stepped a foot over the room, closing the door along the way.

"Tell me a story!" The boy chirped at him again.

Shuda rubbed his temple, eyebrows furrowing with frustration and just wonder _how_ can a human being remain so hyper even after the stroke of midnight.

"Promise you'll sleep once I finish."

Jeral nodded enthusiastically, slipping underneath his blanket and comforters. Without looking much like a nanny (Shuda still can't believe Musica has the tendency to make things real, but he pretended he knew nothing about what the other man had once said), he fluffed up the white goose-feathered pillows, making Jeral giggle even more. Only a flick on the forehead silenced the kid.

"Hush or else no story."

His young charge only pouted before it was replaced with another innocent smile, blue eyes glinting with excitement. Whenever Shuda's not busy with his other duties in the family, he would be the one to tuck Jeral to bed and tell him story-versions of his journey in saving the world as the 'Flaming Swordsman', as Jeral would put it.

"Neh, neh! Tell me that story about that mage again! You never finished it!"

Shuda blinked at the kid, but Jeral's smile didn't waver. Instead, it's trying to egg Shuda even more in sharing some pieces of his memory.

"The time mage, you mean?"

"Uhn!"

Shuda smiled absently, stroking golden hair as Jeral leaned into his touch, eyes lit up in just pure awe. He could read it very clearly that those blue eyes were indeed very much excited to hear another story about that person Shuda held above the rest (other than Gale, he reminded himself). It's funny that whenever Shuda would mention about 'the time mage', Jeral's ears would perk up and he would turn to his head and looked up expectantly at Shuda. Maybe it's partly his fault that he would always outshine Sieg from the rest of the gang.

"Which one would you like to know then?"

"The time travel thing!"

Time travel… those two words alone brought a deep pang of pain to his chest, stabbing him wholly in the heart. No matter how cool Jeral would perceive it to be, that particular memory would never be a good memory to Shuda, solely because of selfish reasons that tends to make no absolute sense.

Setting himself on the soft mattress, with Jeral shifting to make room for the redhead to sit on, Shuda pulled a little at his tie knot before resting leg over one knee.

"Alright then, let me tell you about an adventure where we met a shape-shifting kid, a king that never age and a god who's stuck here in the mortal realm—"

"That doesn't sound like some time traveling."

Like what he had mentioned before; Jeral is too smart that even Shuda can't outwit him.

"You're not avoiding the topic, are you?" the boy continued prodding, finger pointing him on his sides. Chuckling in defeat, Shuda finally submitted to the young boy's whims and decided that maybe this time, he'll let it slide.

"Oh, fine, you win."

And so begin the retelling of Shuda and his last memory of Sieg.

[xxx]

The wooden ceilings of the airship began crumbling as Shakuma fired another blow, directly hitting the bridge.

"We have no choice, guys! It's either we get blown to bits or you and Elie go!"

Inside the shaking airship, tension was high on the air. Haru was being indecisive again. The boy was just too concerned of others' wellbeing that it shrouds his logic. But Shuda had enough of that. And when Haru finally nodded in agreement, Shuda released the breath he didn't know he was holding.

Just as everyone began preparing for Haru and Elie, someone groaned in pain behind him. Both relief and worry clashed inside of him as Shuda watched Sieg gaining consciousness helplessly.

"Oi, you shouldn't—"

"What happened—" Then another groan. Shuda flinched inwardly at the sound of pain, and reached out to push the time mage back on the makeshift bed. "Don't move. You lost half of your powers because of that last fight, and your wound had just closed. Damn it, if I knew better, I would've tied you to something. Just _why _do you always do these crazy things?!"

The thought of being too fretful and paranoid didn't hit Shuda at all, not even when Sieg chuckled softly (only to turn into a coughing blood fit halfway) at his open gesture of concern. Wiping the thin trail of blood on his lips with the back of his hand, Sieg looked up at him, eyes turning serious and cold. Shuda then realized the time for them being too close is now over.

"Haru and Elie are going to Resha's grave."

"With the Rave stones?"

"Ah."

If Shuda knew Sieg had thought of an open time stream possible on the site, which then would leave him far back in the past, Shuda would've keep Sieg from going even if it means costing the world. Shuda had already stopped caring about the world since ten years ago for selfish reasons.

"Clothes." Sieg murmured to him. Shuda gave him his clothes, the other's trenchcoat and cloak hanging over an arm. But when Sieg moved to sit up again, Shuda couldn't find it himself anymore to stop the mage. He wanted to—of course he wanted to!—but something imaginary was holding him back from doing so. Even when Sieg stood up and faltered a bit in his footing, Shuda only held out his hands to keep the other from falling. It seemed like it's the only thing he could do now that the table had suddenly turned.

Taking both of his trenchcoat and cloak and donning it on, Shuda felt himself freezing still as Sieg didn't turn to look his way as he stepped away. It was only when Sieg was finally a step past him did he turn around and yanked the mage's arm, surprising both of them. Sieg stared at him, those dim yet sapient amethyst eyes boring holes into his head. As if the pull wasn't surprising enough, Shuda jerked him backwards, pulling the surprised mage's body against his, meshing both of their lips together. Shuda was clearly unaware of his surrounding already, and thousands of alarms had exploded inside Sieg's head. 'WTF' was the first thing that ran through his head.

A pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around his waist. Sieg thought it now seems impossible to leave, especially when Shuda's clinging to him rather tightly. Then Shuda parted his lips, tongue darting forward to lick at his own lips. That movement sent another wave of alarms thundering.

Sieg was the first one who pulled away, fingers flying straight to his lips. He didn't care if his actions alone attracted the other's busied attention, but it seemed like only he and Shuda was existing in their own plane of existence.

"I…" Shuda started, but Sieg quickly beat him to it, the fingers previously on his lips now pressed against Shuda's. It reminded both of a shy, indirect kiss.

Shaking his head, dark blue locks following the shake of the head. Shuda watched him with downcast eyes, his lips pulling into a frown. He was about to speak again, to at least say goodbye, when Sieg beat him to it again, his lips breaking into a small, reassuring smile.

"I think, it'll be more appropriate to say, 'Later then'."

If it's supposed to bring assurance to Shuda's heart, then he wanted to tell the other it didn't. He would've protested against it, to convince Sieg to just stay and not go, if it wasn't for that damn Shakuma blasting the airship again. If the blast was supposed to destroy the airship, it didn't work. But damn it, it ended up destroying _their_ moment. The moment that stole Shuda's chance of saying everything left unsaid to the time mage. And Sieg… damn it. He just jumped off the ship and ran after Haru and Elie, flying towards them like some superhero out to rescue the falling people. It took every ounce of Shuda's self control not to yell at the time mage and call him a bastard amidst the falling debris and smoke.

[xxx]

But up to now, when a lot of years had finally passed, Shuda found it appropriate (yet still painful) indeed for everything to be on hold, for their last words to each other 'Later then'. True, it's too painful for him to continue living, but at least he had a reason to continue living. And now that he had finally landed himself in this job, Shuda didn't regret the choice of accepting life as it is.

"And then the huge tornado thing came up on us. Next thing we know, we're out of the forest and back home." He ended with a flick on Jeral's nose, the young child yelping at it, face flushing rather cutely. "Now go to sleep before I call him and make him take you to a jungle filled with spiders."

The boy cried a little 'Eep!' before ducking under his covers, the top of his blonde head sticking out underneath the layers of blanket. Smiling at the sight, he tucked the blanket properly, patting the soft layer and whispering a soft 'sweet dreams' to the kid.

Just as he's about to leave the bed's proximity, a tiny hand reached out and grabbed him from behind. Shuda turned around and glanced at Jeral, who's peering at him over the covers. Shuda couldn't help himself but smile at the way he looked so childish and innocent. Even a hardened man like Shuda could melt at the sight.

"Neh, is he still out there time traveling?"

_...is he?_

"Ah, probably. He's one of the strangest guys I've ever met."

"Oh… okay," Jeral paused a bit, biting his bottom lip; a sign that means he's debating with himself to ask his next question. But once he pushed away the blanket and sat up, Shuda caught the message. "I wish he would drop by here though. It would be great to able to meat Shuda's most important person!"

Shuda would have been shocked at the bright, wide smile the boy suddenly made. But then, something in his instincts kicked in and instead of blinking at the boy, he only smiled back at him, stroking those soft, golden locks.

"Ah, it would be." He whispered softly. Giving his last smile for the night, Jeral laid down again, burrowing himself onto those soft and fluffy pillows.

Stepping away from the bed and towards the door, Shuda's fingers linger on the light switch, before finally switching the lights off. With only the light coming from the hallway illuminating Jeral's room, Shuda sent one last thorough look on the room and smiled when his eyes met sleepy blue ones.

"Good night, little phoenix."

The door to Jeral's closed after a soft return of 'good night' from the little child. Pulling off the tie hanging on his neck, Shuda leaned on the door, head thudding softly against the wood. His eyes stared at the chandelier hanging on the hallway's ceiling.

_Maybe… he still is._

**END**


	7. 12: Cherry Blossoms

Title: Cherry Blossoms  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #12 – in a good mood  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii don't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

A/N: The fluff is killing me…

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**Cherry Blossoms**

_For 30_kisses, #12_

Since dawn, ever since Sieg woke up, the mage had been humming a tune he'd rather not comment on. It was obvious though. It was as if Sieg's rubbing it on his face that he's happy, that he's in a good mood.

Too good, actually.

When they were done with breakfast, Shuda was about to wash the dishes when out of nowhere, Sieg sauntered he's way into the kitchen (Shuda still can't understand why they're sharing an apartment) and _flung_ him out with his _hips_. That was the first time Sieg volunteered to do house chore with a smile, much less insist to do it on his own, without any help from the redhead. Shuda's scared. He's terrified beyond comprehension. To say Sieg is in a good mood would be a huge understatement.

By the time it was for lunch, the wonder didn't stop. For the first time, Sieg, world's thriftiest man, asked him out for lunch. His treat. His freaking _treat_. That means _Sieg_ is paying for the lunch. And knowing Sieg, lunch would probably in some sort of expensive, high-class restaurant with special, exotic cuisine. Sieg nearly fainted then when Sieg only shrugged away the pointed 'Why' Shuda threw at him. Sieg's now beyond scared. To say Shuda is scared shitless he had probably pissed in his pants already would be a huge understatement.

After lunch (a very delicious one, if Shuda can say so himself), they ended up walking down one of the town's busiest streets, with a lot of vendors in booths; and of course, the occasional screaming kids running around with balloons on tow. Throughout the entire walk, Shuda tried his hardest holding back the spasmodic flinches, since Sieg had decided clinging to his arm and being showing blatant public display of affection was the best thing to do. Sieg only played dumb to the people's stares (and some mothers' glares) and pretended he's not emitting a murderous aura (which was creeping into Shuda through his freaking _pores_). Shuda was then convinced Sieg _is_ in a _really_ good mood, because whenever people would stare at them, or even spent more than 3 seconds looking at him, Sieg would have thrown a hissy fit and glare at whoever's looking at him. Shuda can only guessed that Sieg had probably found the best way to kill him, and he's making sure Shuda's last memory here in the living world would be with him, about him, and probably wished he's anywhere in the earth just not with him. Or who knows—regret that he had agreed sharing an apartment with the mage.

When seeing a booth with floating lava lamps, Shuda lost his thirty-sixth chance to ask Sieg why he's in such a good mood. Sooner or later, he thought he had to say goodbye to everyone. And the fact that he's uncharacteristically happy continued to scare Shuda even more.

Finally, after some more walk and booth tripping, Sieg dragged him down a field of daisies and up a hill with irises and violets scattered everywhere. There was a huge, old and wizened sakura tree on top, overlooking the town and situated directly at the sunset. It was a perfect viewing spot, and Shuda remembered this is the spot he could always find Sieg at when the mage felt like being alone. Being in that hill, with the knowledge that Sieg had decided to let him enter his safe zone, a very private spot, had somehow put Shuda in a sedated state. They spent the rest of the afternoon there, sitting on a patch of grass, leaning against the tree trunk. Neither of them spoke. Shuda had even lost the urge to ask why Sieg's acting so strange since the morning.

Sometime in between watching the setting sun, a pale hand had laid itself on top of a metal, mechanic one, holding and caressing what used to be firm, human flesh. When a head leaned down and rested itself against his shoulder, Shuda couldn't help it anymore and turned his head, staring at the serene and peaceful look on Sieg's face. His previous crazy anxiety vanished in an instance.

His left hand, the real one, reached over and pulled Sieg's pale hand (he's still solving the mystery on whether or not the mage uses some whitening moisturizer) and let them rest on his lap, as he intertwined their fingers together. Sieg only chuckled heartily when Shuda planted a small kiss on his head.

"I'm happy," the mage said, still staring at the setting sun with a small smile. Shuda bit back the snort and nearly choked by it. He quickly covered it up with a slow and gentle stroke on soft, blue hair with his mechanic hand.

"May I know why?"

Sieg only smiled, pushing his head up and nuzzled against the crook of Shuda's neck, inhaling his musky scent; the complete opposite of his. After a long pregnant pause, he gripped the hand holding his harder, and whispered softly.

"Because today's the day when I met you."

Shuda didn't show or voice his surprise. Instead, he returned the gesture the mage did to his hand and peered down at him without moving his head. He gave him another kiss, this time on the forehead.

"Then I'm happy too." The redhead whispered back.

The rest of the night was spent on star gazing and doing nothing at all, except enjoying each other's company. To say both of them are happy and contented in life would be a huge understatement.

**END**


	8. 28: Dementia

Title: Dementia  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #28 – Wada Calcium CD3  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii don't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

Warning: Mentions of drugs and STDs.

A/N: I always wanted to make fun of Shuda's age, since he's like, the _oldest_ among everyone. And well, the age gap is freaking _huge_. Like, by 6-7 years maximum? And we all know Sieg is barely his age, no matter how you look at it.

A/N2: Okay, so I failed. Greatly failed. This one… it became angst, and though it has the calcium, it plays no role under than prompting the entire thing. Gah.

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**Dementia**

_For 30_kisses, #28_

They're strolling down the aisle, browsing through stacked cans of tuna, sardines, pork and beans and a lot more of other canned goods of all brands. It's due to Sieg's incessant demand that he should tag along for grocery shopping because he barely does it (and also because they both happen to be the eldest in the gang).

"Are you sure there's no more tuna?"

Shuda eyes the four cans of tuna on Sieg's hands who throws it into the pushcart.

"I'm making salad tonight."

Sieg ignores the raise of a red eyebrow and instead, continues down the aisle, leaving Shuda to push the cart. Shuda stares at the can of tunas, and the large print of 'Omega 3' on it. Then he remembers that Sieg has always been such a health conscious freak, even if he skips bedtime every night.

"You know, I've been thinking of buying some health supplement."

Shuda blinks and stares at Sieg's back, who is a few steps ahead of him.

"What?"

Sieg shrugs and grabs a can of pork and beans. "It's just that I noticed you've been suffering back pains, and admit it, we're nearing our thirties—actually, _you_ are nearing your thirties while I'm still few more years away, let's say _four_…"

"Are you insulting my age?"

Sieg shrugs again, returning the can. Beans might only make him suffer arthritis again for the rest of the week. Behind him, Shuda frowns and glares at the time mage's back.

"No, it's just that _we_ have been noticing how you would hold your back from sitting for too long."

"Oh, so you _are_ mocking my age."

"No! I'm just saying that we ought to do something with it before it gets bad! Admit it, you're _old_ by our standards, and if you end up having osteoporosis, it'll be a burden for us by the time it's wartime."

"I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you."

An exasperated sigh from Sieg, before he turns and faces Shuda fully, both hands on his hips as he stares the redheaded swordman down.

"You know what? I'm going to buy you some calcium tablets whether you like it or not. And I swear I will _personally _feed you with it," Sieg seals it with an angry pull of the trolley, sending Shuda stumbling as his hold on the cart's handle stayed. The gleam on the time mage's eye glows, and Sieg smirks a wide smirk, as if gloating on his small victory for making Shuda gulp in fear (though he believes it more on the sudden nearness of their distance. Sieg has lost the meaning of personal privacy ever since he Iulius joined the gang). "Then you'll thank me with your entire life after I saved you from your humiliating doom. Imagine you dying in the middle of battle because of back pain."

Shuda answers him with a twitch on the cheek of his own, finding the time mage--the only person in the entire world who can really talk to Shuda like an idiot--very out of character.

"Have you been taking amphetamines again or did Iulius give you marijuana?"

"Both, actually. We've been mixing them lately."

Alright, scratch off the health conscious freak part of Sieg. This man is _insane. _No wonder he had dated Berial once.

"Remind me again why I know you and why you're a Guardian _and _the only person _in the right age _applicable to save this god forsaken world?"

Sieg smirks again. Shuda instantly regrets saying a word. He should have known it's better to ignore him ever since a word was said about him and his age. And calcium, for goodness' sake. He'll never forget hating calcium and anything related to it now. _Never_.

"I, unlike you, happen to be what everyone wants and deems worthy."

"Minus the drugs, yes? What else am I missing?"

A glare, which is then answered by narrowed eyes of much fiery gaze coupled with a wider smirk.

"The lack of syphilis. Does anyone know you have one?"

Shuda flings the cart away in record time and made to grab whatever he could reach of the time mage. Then again, Sieg _is_ faster and more agile than the redhead (simply because he happens to be _younger _and has no syphilis) so he quickly dash away, running straight for the other aisle.

The twitch on Shuda's cheek doesn't subside, not even when Sieg raised a white flag in mock surrender.

"Seriously, your age is creeping on you. Even your temper reflects your age."

By the time they arrive back at the hotel with the canned goods (and a box of condoms, since Sieg insists that Shuda must not share his disease with _anyone_), both are a mile away from each other; one in fear of getting hit by a can of tuna, and the other of missing more of his dignity simply because he's the oldest in the group.

Musica can only stare at the box of condoms while Julia took the liberty to save Haru and Belnika's virgin eyes, only to forget Niebel. The youngest of the group ends up looking for Sieg and ask him what it is, much to everyone's dismay.

It's a huge misfortune for everyone in the team to witness the deflowering of Niebel's mind. Sieg only shrugs when they point a shaking, accusing finger at him and replies with a, "It's better sooner than later. He's bound to know it anyway."

"But he's barely 12!" Musica had cried at him as Julia made sure to transfer Sieg's guardianship on the boy unto her, which then led to another yelling match between the two, but that's an entirely different story.

So they all ignored the box of condom lying bare in the middle of the dining table as they all prepare dinner. Seconds later, Let did the honorary duty to cover it with an overturned basket.

"You know, you can take half of it. I'm sure it'll fit you."

Let flushed up to the tips of his hair and ran away to hide under the table. Shuda threw another can of tuna at Sieg's head for picking on the dragon's size.

"Just because he beat you at it doesn't mean you have to spite him for being bigger than you."

"I'm not. I'm just stating the truth, and for your information, sizes does _not_ matter, you moron who couldn't even keep his erection for five minutes."

All the time mage got for dinner then was a plate of tuna and mayonnaise… or lack thereof since Plue and Griff suddenly ganged up on him and stole the entire bottle. It's clear everyone's mad at him—okay, majority of the _older_ members of the team is mad at him… Actually, it's more of Shuda only. Then again, Shuda _is_ the oldest so…

Oh, never mind. He could already feel Shuda's burning a hole through his head with nonexistent laser beam.

Hours later, when everyone's finally in their own bed (Sieg happens to have the bad luck of sharing one with Shuda, all because he's the second oldest), Sieg heads for the kitchenette to fix himself a proper late dinner (Sieg also happens to be a rich bastard, capable of paying a presidential suite in the classiest hotel). Leavings the lights off, he searches for whatever is edible other than tuna and mayonnaise.

"There's some sandwiches left inside the ref."

Sieg hears the scraping of chair on marble tiled floors. Returning to the table with tuna sandwich on hand (another week of tuna and he swears he _will_ go mad and date Belial again), he sits on the side next to Shuda's.

"You know, I was just joking… about the syphilis thing."

"I know."

A flick of a lighter then a smoke as Shuda inhales deeply from the nicotine stick. Sieg stares at the cigarette, suddenly losing his appetite. He had once tried to make the other quit, but then Shuda… he can't live without those damned cancer sticks. He had tried so hard to the point of nearly destroying their friendship.

"You… really should stop."

The look Shuda gave him in reply is something he always gives whenever Sieg tries to remind the other of the risk—a look so smothering it makes Sieg feel out of line. The thought of being someone less special in the swordsman life, the kind of look that reminds him he has no right making him do something plainly… that look always gives him that feeling.

Sieg never likes that feeling.

Ashes fall and burned the wooden table a little bit as Shuda leans back on the chair, sprawled carelessly, a bottle of scotch on one hand. Silence falls down on them like it usually does when they're alone.

"I was about to stop," The tuna sandwich was back inside the refrigerator. Two wine glasses takes its place instead as Sieg sets it down on the table. Shuda raises an eyebrow at him to which Sieg shrugs back. "I got addicted again after I realize I can't stand not having it."

"Then you should have known what it feels like."

The feeling of helplessness… the feeling of needing reliance on an inanimate object…

"I had tried of using the human body once."

Shuda fills the two glasses to the brim with the scotch. He's sure Sieg's strong enough to handle the drink with no ice.

"It was the same… sort of… only harder and messier."

"Who did you do it with?"

"A lot. Strangers, all of them."

One of the glasses has its content emptied halfway in one intake while a cigarette is passed to another hand. Sieg takes a long drag. More ashes litter the table.

"This might be what it feels like…"

The feeling of being incapable to live a life properly, the feeling of not being able to find a much better solution to life, the feeling of being helpless against life's challenges.

"The feeling of wanting it earlier, because we're afraid of what is to come."

The stick of nicotine meets its demise as it burned a hole into the table, one wine glass empty as the other lost only a quarter of its content.

"I guess we're just scared… so scared that we're willing to end everything by ourselves, with one strike… but we're so scared that even as we're about to end it, we chickened out in the middle. And now, we're stuck here, living in this limbo, waiting for it to come."

"Sieg…?"

A small reading light lights up as Niebel makes his way into the kitchenette, rubbing his still drowsy eyes. Sieg doesn't even try to hide the glass of scotch in front of the child. Contrary to popular beliefs, Niebel… he's a child that has seen more horrors than an adult has seen. Maybe that is why Sieg decided to adopt him, to be his guardian. No one could understand the horror the child had gone through better than him, because Sieg knows what it feels like to be someone not normal.

When the boy's eyes land on the two glasses of scotch (though the other one was already empty, yet Niebel could smell the traces of cigarette_, _the stench of the scotch), the cigarette remains and the bottle of scotch on Shuda's hand, he knows better than to ask.

But he's a child, _still_ a child and with that remains his innocence, his curiosity to know more.

"Oh…"

Yet that is all he could say, because he really does know better than to ask further when Sieg is in one of his 'moments', moments where Sieg tries to find himself through means that, according to Sieg, are means Niebel must not try on himself.

"Go back to sleep. I'll join you later."

Niebel… one reason why he needs Sieg, especially during sleep is because without Sieg, nightmares with those ugly monsters would come back and haunt him. Without Sieg, those nightmares would visit him and then he would wake up dead in the middle of the night crying so hard he couldn't cry himself to sleep.

Sieg… he's the only person who soothes him back to a sleep and keeps the monsters away, because he's that someone who Niebel thinks is his big brother, his long lost big brother. And Sieg couldn't deny that fact because seeing Niebel waking up, crying because of a really bad nightmare breaks his heart, because it reminds him of himself, and he doesn't want the boy to go through what he had gone through when he was a child. He doesn't want Niebel to face a cold, lonely night infested with remnants of a nightmare alone. He doesn't want Niebel to know the meaning of being alone anymore, not again.

The boy nods back at his guardian, his pajama top baring his other shoulder, a sleeve longer than the other. Slowly, Niebel walks back to the bedroom, back to his bed that he will soon share with Sieg. Sieg knows though that even when Niebel goes back to bed, it doesn't entirely mean he'll go back to sleep. But for now, he'll pretend that the boy will go back to sleep and brave the oncoming nightmare on his own like the brave, strong child he is.

"He reminds me of you. Makes me think of what you're probably like when you were a kid."

Sieg stares at the redhead with wide eyes. Shuda doesn't move from his position on the chair, head tilted up as he stares at the ceiling with an empty gaze. The time mage watches him, watches him as time passes by with each rise and fall of the redhead's chest.

"You were constantly ignored as a child, weren't you?"

Sieg shrugs and stands, his chair scraping the tiled floor backwards. The movement brought Shuda turning his eyes away from the ceiling and into the time mage, who saunters lethargically his way behind the redhead's seat.

The time mage bends over until his face's a few inches away from Shuda's his eyes showing no mirth yet a smile graces his lips. Red, auburn eyes return the gaze without any intensity, as Shuda finds it boring to play this game again.

Slowly, Sieg brings his head down, lips topping the redhead's in a small peck. Neither of them could call it a real kiss, as it's just lips touching, no emotions attached. Yet somehow, as Sieg left Shuda's side a second later in an abrupt turn, Shuda finally feels it, that rise of an emotion that he had lost years ago.

"All of us have been constantly ignored when we were young. I was just… too unlucky to lose them both before I even get the chance to know them."

Inside the kitchenette, a shadow has been left behind by its companion as the latter returns to its abode to comfort the poor soul it is meant to comfort. Yet it stays there, in the darkness with a sliver of warm, auburn light coming from a source it'll never find the need or the desire to use. And in that darkness with that small sliver of light, a small, white box stands lost amidst in it.

Shuda scoffs at the sight of the calcium supplementary box before leaving the kitchenette, walking drunkenly back to his room. The bottle of scotch stays inside the kitchenette, keeping the box company as they lose their use in the world.

In the end, no one makes the effort to live life perfectly, because life is not meant to be perfect.

**END**


	9. 14: Hello Again

Title: Hello Again  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #14 – Radio-cassette player

Disclaimer: Umi-chii doesn't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

A/N: Inspired by random DBSK songs. And uh, the discovery of Sieg being 27 already. Anyway, this is short. And simple.

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**Hello Again**

_For 30_kisses, #14_

It was spring cleaning time in Mildean. He was content in just spending the time alone cleaning his attic and throwing away all of the old stuffs his brother owns. He wouldn't dare to keep them all for sentimentality's sake anymore.

Then there're also those things Niebel had when he was younger. The kid isn't quite a kid now; Niebel had already turned 16 just last week, and the more he watches his apprentice grow up, the older he felt.

Footsteps arrived from downstairs. His new visitor crouched low beside him as he knelt on the floor, opening the dust-covered boxes.

"Hey," he heard Shuda greeted him. He greeted back with the same emotion as his eyes remained on the box, pulling out the things inside.

"Aren't you a bit…"

"There's no use for these things anymore." He answered without waiting for the question to end. He could see Shuda quirking an eyebrow at him from the corner of his eyes.

Shuda began telling him something again, but as usual, he didn't pay the redhead any attention. Instead, his arms went deeper into the box. A sight of something shiny and red caught his attention.

With more strength than usual, he removed his new discovery from the box. It was still shiny as if time hadn't worn out its former glory. Its vibrant red paint is still there even though the buttons had already grayed a little on the edges. It was heavy on his hands, but Sieg figured they all used to be heavy, the things from the past, untouched by technology's advancement.

"Woah," He heard Shuda gasped behind him. "Is it still working?"

He shrugged. Pushing the play button, he waited until the radio-cassette player began functioning.

Nothing happened.

"I think it's dead." He said in his usual hushed tones. Beside him, Shuda sat down and crossed his legs. Then suddenly, Shuda told him to wait as he went for the box himself, digging through a lot of plastic cases and brown envelopes.

"Let me see if there's some cassette here."

"Maybe it's the battery?"

Shuda straightened up and stared at him. Then he grinned as if the idea was the grandest idea ever.

"Alright," Shuda said, as he began dashing for the stairs downstairs. "You wait here. I'm going to go and look for some batteries."

And before he could tell the other not to bother anymore, Shuda had already run down the stairs. He stared at the attic door hopelessly then at the recorder on his hands.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt much to use magic…?

A touch on top of the player. A zap of blue lightning spread out and crackled around the player. When he removed his finger, the radio-cassette player was sizzling a little, smoke coming out in tiny fumes.

Shuda returned with two packs of batteries. He then stared at the redhead and blinked.

"I think I made it worse…?"

"What?"

He raised the radio-cassette player and handed it to his lover.

"I think I made it worse." He said again. Shuda only sighed before taking the player onto his own hands. After a pregnant pause, Shuda shrugged and put the red radio back inside the box.

"Then I guess you can include this as a garbage then."

He didn't know why, but somehow, hearing that made him frown. Maybe it is hard for him not to be sentimental, especially when it involves things from the past, of distant memories that couldn't be revisited anymore.

"Sieg?"

"Hmm?"

"What're you doing?"

He shrugged again. He took the packaging tape lying on the floor next to him and taped the box in front of him.

"I think I'll keep this." He finally said after taping the box. He then heard his lover laughing out loud. He could only glare at Shuda spitefully.

"What," he snapped the redhead mid-laugh. Slowly, Shuda began reclaiming his calm. And when he pouted at the redhead, Shuda could only smile a wide smile, before inching closer and closed the distance between them.

And although he really doesn't mind the affection when they're alone, it's already a habit for him to pull away and glare sharply at his kisser. He pouted again.

Shuda didn't do anything else other than grin another wide grin, nearly from one ear to another.

"Thanks." Shuda whispered to him before diving down for another kiss, which he didn't bother to avoid. With reluctance, he kissed back with the same affection. The kiss wasn't one of those wild, hot and wet ones. It was just sweet, short and tender.

When they pulled away from each other, he stared at the auburn eyes watching him with a twinkle. He frowned again. The redhead then stood up and went for another box somewhere in the corner.

"Let's see if we'll see more here."


	10. 13: Black List

Title: Black List  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg, implied Shuda/Cattleya  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #13 – excessive chains  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii don't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

Rating; NC-17. KEEP AWAY KIDS. KEEP AAWAAAAAAAAAAAAY. And the pr0ny-ness of it is also a bit disturbing. Srsly. The theme is chain. Wth do you expect.

Warning: Slashy porn. 8D

A/N: ALRIGHT! TIME TO SAVE SELF FROM BEING PURGED! Nano got me, so yeah, lol.

-------

**Black List**

_For 30_kisses, #13_

The sound of disco music thrummed heavily against his eardrums, but Shuda persevered, forcing his way through the throngs of gyrating people. Saturday night means night out in the local club with his friends. But sadly, with the number of people and a sudden announcement of a party, he had lost his friends. He even left his girlfriend at the bar to fend for herself.

And when he found himself stuck between two men, gyrating their hips at him, Shuda doubted it's a smart move of him to go to the dance floor. He hoped Cattleya wouldn't find him here and mistake him flirting with these two sexy men. Two pairs of hands were straying from his flat belly to his toned thighs. Shuda wouldn't mind the attention on normal occasions, but right now, he doubted he wanted to be banged by two strangers in the middle of the disco while his girlfriend is somewhere there on the other side of the club, at the bar waiting for him patiently.

When a hand brushed against his leather clad ass, Shuda quickly darted to the right and out of the sea of pheromone heavy people. Heaving slightly, he looked around again, cursing the lack of proper light. Then again, he's in a night club. He should've expected it.

The bar where he left Cattleya at was on the other side. He's now standing in the hallway leading to the VIP rooms, and he's sure Iulius had entered one of those rooms with some rich stranger.

"Hey," Shuda's head shot up at the warm breath tickling the back of his neck. Turning around, his eyes met amethyst eyes with dark eyeliner, and even darker eye shadow. His eyes didn't stray from the strange tattoo on the right side of the man's face or the lip ring on the corner of his bottom lip, with three chains connected to three loops on his right earlobe.

What's with the excessive chains, Shuda thought, horrified at the possibility of someone yanking those chains.

"You lost?" He asked Shuda, who still have yet to recover from the shock.

When Shuda didn't even answer for more than ten seconds, the strange man in tight leather scoffed softly and took a long drag of his cigarette—Shuda wouldn't be surprised if it's cocaine or something heavier than that.

Finally, Shuda managed to get his wits straight, and replied ins his firmest tone, "I'm looking for my friends."

"What do they look like?" The man asked.

"One of them has three piercing on his eyebrow, and the other looked just like a hom—horrible peacock."

But the damage was done even before Shuda could change the word on last minute. The man snarled at him, digging his cigarette onto the wall next to Shuda's head. The latter could only gulp at that.

"Got a problem with the fags, bitch?"

Shuda gulped again. What had he gotten himself into?

"Look, it was just an expression…"

"And you can suck my cock for that."

"_What_?!"

And before Shuda could refute, the man pushed him hard against the wall, trapping him against it with his waist, hands pinning both of Shuda's wrists against the wall above his head. Cold, amethyst eyes locked onto his quaking red ones.

Thinking a good round of cuss can save him, Shuda opened his mouth.

Wrong move.

His attacker immediately took this chance and closed the distance between them, pierced lip and chain grazing against his as his mouth was plundered with an offending tongue.

It was weird, the feel of another man's tongue inside his mouth while his girlfriend is waiting for him outside. And it felt weirder when he could faintly taste metal and silver. Experimentally, he pushed his tongue forward, brushing against cold silver.

Hips pushed then rubbed his, and Shuda could feel something hard pressed against his thigh, as those hard grips on his wrists disappeared, hands leaving a hot, blazing trail down his shoulders, arms, waists, stopping to cup his ass. And when those hands clenched his ass, Shuda's knees buckled, hips thrashing upwards as his hands quickly clutched onto firm shoulders.

He couldn't help but moan loudly the erotic feel of a hard cock rubbing against his. And when that hardness rubbed itself roughly against his, leather rubbing against leather, the sound of metal zipper clanking together, Shuda hang onto dear life as the snake coiling in his stomach coiled even tighter, so tight he couldn't do anything other than moan and groan, his hips thrashing upwards to meet those rough and hard thrusts.

And when he felt zippers being pulled down, a hand grabbing his hard cock, thumb swiping over the thick precum on his head before pressing it _hard_, he came so hard his head hit the wall painfully, nothing but white meeting his vision as euphoria rained down on him.

Panting heavily, Shuda let his head fall and leaned on a shaking shoulder, until hands pushed him down onto his knees, one moving to grip his hair painfully. Shuda's mouth instantly opened wide in reflex as a scream was shut out when a still hard cock entered his mouth without warning. And before Shuda could even fix his gag reflex, that cock thrust in and out in a frenzy.

After a few more shallow thrusts, he heard a groan and flinched as a load of white cum shot into his mouth, the bitter taste of it leaving a weird feel to his tongue. The softening cock stayed inside his mouth for a short while before it left him, its owner panting heavily, shadowy eyes staring at him through glazed, half-lidded eyes.

Shuda could feel the thin trail of saliva and cum dripping from the corner of his mouth. And when he saw those chains again, he wondered what it would feel like when those met his cock. The mere thought of it nearly gave him another hard-on.

Without another word, this sexy beast Shuda couldn't but stare at zipped his pants and turned for a VIP room, leaving him behind, kneeling on the cold, hard floor with a flaccid cock.

After cleaning himself begrudgingly in the toilet, Shuda splashed some cold water on his face, staring at his flushing cheeks and wide eyes. His eyes strayed to the growing bruise on his lips before he finally pulled away from the sink and out of the toilet to look for his distraught girlfriend.

**END**


	11. 20: Actually, I Didn't Want to Leave

Title: Actually, I Didn't Want to Leave  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #20 – the road home

Disclaimer: Umi-chii don't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

A/N: It's funny that when I listen to Chinese song, the lyrics hit me more than English songs do. I guess it must be because of the native-ness of it, or something. The title of this fic is the translated title of the original song, sung by Emil Chau.

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**Actually, I Didn't Want to Leave**

_For 30_kisses, #20_

The muddy trail is damp and, well, _muddy_. Bits of dried mud clung to the back of his legs like second skin, and every bit of cold, mountain wind passed by delivers shivers up his spine. Yes, he likes the cold. He has been living in a country where it's practically winter for the latter half of the year. But he's just not used to it when there's mud all over the place, _all over him, _and he's _up _in a _mountain_, _climbing _it, wearing very tight and short shorts that ends halfway down his thighs, his flimsy white tanktop barely protecting him from the cold. Every climb up is met with a string of profanities as his blue-tinted shades slides down the bridge of his nose, and Sieg is all but willing to donate the expensive eyewear to the mountains for the bears to play with.

Meanwhile, ten feet above Sieg, Shuda continues his climb, leather gloved hands gripping the slippery, damp mountain rock with ease, unmindful of the great cries of discomfort coming from his partner.

After a few seconds, and noticing the sudden lack of curses piercing the peaceful—well, supposed to be—air of the morning, Shuda looks down to check on his partner.

"You okay down there?"

"What the fuck do you think?" The other hollered at him. Shuda could only wince at the harsh reply before resuming his climb. Oh, well. There's not much he could do, when there're angry time mages who'd rather spend their time staring at the clock, listening to the tick-tock of the arms over hiking and mountain climbing to watch the beautiful sunrise.

Shuda sighs again at the thought. Maybe if he had brought Sieg to the beach, the mage might appreciate it more.

"_Putang ina—_"

Oh, it'll definitely gonna be a long way till they reach the top.

[xxx]

An hour and a half later, when the sun is already halfway up the sky to send its burning rays over the earth, the pair has finally reached the flat top and decided to put out a blanket so they could lie down and have a tiny picnic consisting of turkey sandwiches and cups of coffees. Thankfully enough, Sieg had stopped cussing his way up when they had set a foot on top of the plateau.

They watched the slow rise of the sun, taking small, unrushed bites of their breakfast. Both were silent, contemplating life on their own. Sometime in between, one of them fell to their side, leaning a head on a strong shoulder.

Shuda glanced down at the mop of blue hair suddenly spilling over his shoulder. He shifted slightly, prompting Sieg to leave his headrest. He was startled when the head went to lie down on his lap instead, using his strong thigh muscles as pillow. Usually dark and cold purple eyes were closed, the time mage's breathing slow and steady like a soothed sleep. They stayed like that until the morning mist has disappeared, and Sieg began feeling the cramps of staying in that position as Shuda swore he could barely feel his legs.

[xxx]

Their trek down the mountain was—in Sieg's unique way of saying—damn stupendous. It was only fast because half of the trek was spent on sliding and rolling on mud and rocks and damn it, his knees barely had a skin. And when they had reached the bottom of the mountain, the sight of the valley just a few miles away, Sieg heaved a great sigh of relief. At least their road home this time would be easier—and less muddier to boot.

He trudged on without waiting for Shuda to unbuckle his many safety belts behind him, his own mountain boots leaving heavy, deep footprints on the muddy trail. He nearly smiled all the way back to the village.

[xxx]

They settled back into their rented inn at the valley, the sun shining bright and housewives outside, hanging their clothes in nylon strings stretched from one post to another. The smell of freshly baked breads and cookies wafted into their room, making the time mage's smile spread even wider.

It began to unnerve Shuda when his partner suddenly let out a giggle after opening the window next to a single bed. It felt familiar, this feeling.

A deep intake of breath, then a long sigh, as if all problems went out of his system in just one sigh. To Shuda, the sight was breathtaking, in a sense that he can't really comprehend, like anything else that's related to Sieg.

"We should do this more often," the time mage suddenly said, his eyes still twinkling at the clear blue sky of Ska village. "Though of course, we could cut the mountain hiking for, let's say, ski—"

And he fell quiet and just obliged to open his mouth—just _slightly_, because it's so early in the morning and their window is open even if they're inside their own room but he just doesn't feel like showing off to the kids downstairs that he's kissing a much older man as housewives frown at them, but then, he agreed to the invitation and frankly? He doesn't give a damn.

**END**


	12. 9: synchronicity

**Title: **synchronicity

**Author:** Umi-chii  
**Pairing:** Shuda/Sieg  
**Fandom:** Rave  
**Theme:** #9 – dash  
**Disclaimer:** Umi-chii doesn't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

**A/N: **It's been months since the last time I wrote a Rave fic. Meh.

* * *

**synchronicity  
**_For 30_kisses, #9_

_wind_

One small step backwards, then a bigger one forward, like a dash. Bend that knee and lean forward. Chin up, always remember that. Raise your arms backwards, but keep them parallel. When you leap, don't look down. Never blink, for blinking can change the course of the battle. Let the wind lick your face, let the breeze pick up around you. The wind will carry you without a summon. Soon, you'll fly. That is how you command the wind element. You let it free. Just like your heart.

* * *

_earth_

"This sucks."

Shuda sighed. He had been hearing that a lot of times today. A few steps behind him, Sieg followed his reaction. A lot more steps behind them, Niebel continued trudging onward, annoyance clearly etched on his young, still boyish face.

"Ew, ew! Another slug! _Shuda_!"

The redhead stopped. The two other Mildeans continued on, leaving the redhead behind to deal with his wretched girlfriend.

"I told you it was a bad idea to invite her." Niebel muttered to him, catching up to his guardian's side.

"I was only being nice." Sieg muttered back. The teen scoffed lightly at hearing that. "You only said that to make him see how incorrigible she is."

"Big word for a 14 year old."

"Not when he grew up with you."

* * *

_fire_

He watched the flickering candlelight, at the moth fluttering dangerously above it. Niebel had gone to bed earlier than him. He had finals tomorrow, and he had to be at his best to pass it. His lips quirked slightly. Once Niebel graduates, he'll be on his own. That boy, now 17, already had plans. He could already imagine Niebel leaving Mildean's snowy landscapes and into the wild, hunting monsters and wanted men, becoming a famous bounty hunter just like…

His lips fell into a frown. No, no. No more memory of him, no more. He had enough. He didn't want more. The flame was gone, and he didn't want to rekindle it anymore.

With one last sigh, Sieg pulled the curtains, snuffing the candlelight with a snuffer, and crawled under the blanket, falling into another dreamless sleep.

* * *

_water_

When Niebel dropped by for a visit, he was surprised. No, he wasn't surprised. He was shocked he had choked on his drink, water spraying out of his mouth as Niebel quickly patted him on the back. He had berated the boy—the young man for entering his house without permission (then again, without Niebel, it was nothing but just a house) and suddenly surprising him because it was funny. Sieg would have laughed if Niebel didn't change his expression, didn't suddenly become so serious. It was unnerving, slightly, to see the boy—the _young man_ so serious. It only reminded him of much Niebel had grown, and less he had. He was more than glad Niebel didn't decide to become a time mage. Being one can ruin a person's lifespan, almost turning it immortal.

"They found him. His body."

His world had stopped, hearing that.

"It was just north of Mildesta. The mermaids found his body last week. Seria told me about it the other day, when I dropped by there for a visit. He… was cremated there."

He didn't know when and how, but he found himself kneeling, on his own kitchen floor, clutching a leg of the wooden stool he was sitting on before Niebel and his damn news arrived. He was staring at the floor, at the lines the marbles made, at the drops of clear water on it. He could feel something wet on his face, could see his sight blurring, and when he wiped whatever it is that's stinging his eyes, he's surprised to find more water on his face. Funny, he didn't choke on his water that bad. It shouldn't have reached his face.

"I'm sorry…"

No one should apologize. No one should hug him and rock him back and forth, no one should tell him that everything will be alright. No one should, because it'll all be a lie. Nothing stays good. The world was created to be like that. All good things must come to an end, and to him, it ended ten years ago. It ended that time when he had told him he liked him, when he had kissed him under the mistletoe and used it as an excuse. It all ended when he came to his house, telling him that he had found her, that person he wants to be with for the rest of his life. There's nothing for him anymore, there's nothing for him to be good for, and there's definitely nothing right for him. Not anymore.

* * *

**END**


	13. 6: At World's End

Title: At World's End  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #6 – the space between dream and reality  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii don't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

A/N: Listening to PotC's soundtracks (hence the title) while writing this really helps. Anyway, the space that this fic is referring to is the space that Sieg is probably stuck in after being trapped in the past. Parallel world and time are easy to write, but hard to understand once you're going through it. Also, I can write Elie/Resha, as long as she's dead and her name isn't being mentioned.

* * *

**At World's End**

_For 30_kisses, #6_

Stars. Nothing but stars hangs around them, between them, under them, above them. It's all stars, stars and more stars. Then in a flash, the stars disappeared and instead, he's standing in a forest trail, standing in front of a grave. Dried patch of grass surrounds him as tree leaves rustled. The necklace he's wearing, the silver heart… it began to feel heavy.

"How are you sleeping?" He found himself whispering, letting the wind carry the question to the sky beyond. "I surely will not be having my best one, if I may say so myself." But onward he will continue, like what he had always told himself. That's the only way life can be lived. Forward, and forward. No backward glances, no second thoughts.

"So many memories have been made, have it not?" In fact, it was so many he could barely remember them all. The past two years were too much for him. It wasn't an easy road, and definitely not a happy one. Yet he can't hold any grudge now, can he? He hadn't been the most cooperative one, and definitely not the most patient one.

"But it's the end that counts. You would tell me that, wouldn't you?"

Yes, yes, you would. You definitely would. It's because he's too uptight or too strict, or just too lacking in the carefree and come-what-may department. But it can't be helped now, can it? Someone had to keep his head, and it just so happened he's the only one left with the job, albeit someone had a much saner head than he does.

"He would definitely be cursing me to the end of oblivion, that bastard." And then there would be some more buildings blowing up into smithereens and heads smashed open as steel swords cleaved bodies into halves, blood spraying everywhere. That bastard, always so barbaric. It was a surprise he was able to dance his way around the platform while holding his grace above everyone's. Oh, the irony. It kills him, terribly so.

"Please do me a favor," he whispered to the grave, the weight on his chest lightening as gravity began pushing down the heart against skin and collar bones. "If you see him, please kick his ass hard enough to deflower him. It doesn't matter when or how or why, just do it. I would appreciate the effort done very, very much, even if the future—or the present, whichever—me will not be quite mutual at the thought."

Heavy soles brushed roughly against dried earth, coat floating with the brush of wind. The chain shifted slightly as he felt a portion of his shirt's hem pulled out of his waistband. Ah, he must stop tucking a hem in random times. It's becoming a bad habit already.

He turned slightly, readying to go back and bid his final silent farewell to the grave. "By the way, I didn't kiss him. It was just lips touching, no thanks to you. I'll have you chased by men of all kinds because of that, you evil witch."

And finally, he turned his back to the grave, leaving his silent farewell to the wind. It'll carry it to the other world, to the next world, or to wherever the wind shall go. It doesn't matter if it'll reach them or not, if it'll reach her or not, if it'll reach him or not. What mattered was that he had finally let it go, let that heavy burden off his shoulder, and just settle down until time is done with this game of waiting.

Now, he shall take his seat as the spectator, the guardian, and the wizard at the end of the yellow brick road, waiting for the arrival of those who wanted their wishes to be granted. A few bones will be broken and more blood will be spilt, but at least this way, he finally gets to laze around and not worry about it.

"One day, I will have my fitful rest."

And that was all there is to think, all there is to know.

* * *

**END**


	14. 25: New Divide

**Title:** New Divide  
**Author:** Umi-chii  
**Pairing: **Shuda/Sieg  
**Fandom:** Rave  
**Theme:** #25 – fence  
**Disclaimer: **It's been six years already, and Umi still can't own Rave.

**A/N: **Linkin Park's new song. Enough said. If anyone managed to get the meaning behind this, or even what's actually going on, then you're good.

* * *

**New Divide**

_For 30_kisses, #25_

Thunders rolled, rain fell, blood shed.

The land remained barren, the earth too dried to suck in new life. Footsteps lost in the midst of the dessert, dusts and dirt all there is to see.

--

_I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me_

_I remembered each flash as time began to blur_

_--_

Onward and onward, soles trudging along, scarlet tresses flying with the wind.

The sun continued burning, the air too heavy and hot to breathe in. Silent musings is all there is to do.

--

_Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me_

_And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve_

_--_

Dead end; stalemate. Yet the horizon remained so far away, unreachable, and nothing in sight. Only the wasteland is all there is to see.

The travel stopped, yet the journey continued. The thunder left, yet the sun persisted. And the blood entered the cracks, like empty holes waiting to be filled.

--

_So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean_

_Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes_

_--_

The clouds fled, the sky parted. Life began to return, greenery sprouting from lifeless ground. Barks and trunks gathered all around, canopies covering the sky, tiny slivers of sunlight showering down through the gaps. Chirps and tweets all around, curiosity growing with anxiety.

It didn't feel dead at all, for that one moment. Even as each footstep neared that non-existing altar, even as each second passed without notice.

--

_Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between_

_Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide_

_--_

And forward he couldn't go any further. A wall; a barricade. Even when parched lips met age-worn rock, hollow sockets and bony grin are all there is to see.

And then nothing.

* * *

**END**


	15. 5: Almond Coffee

Title: Almond Coffee  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #5 – "ano sa…"  
Disclaimer: It's been more than six years, and I've still yet to successfully bribe Hiro Mashima.

A/N: I have three other pending 30kisses fics, and I have no idea how to finish them. And I know I shouldn't be starting on a new one when I still have yet to add a single word to those three. For the past one year.

* * *

**Almond Coffee**

_For 30_kisses, #5_

The almond-cream (well,that's what the box was claiming it to be, when it's clearly not) coated pretzel held daintily by two fingers was scrutinized rather mercilessly by a pair of purple eyes. No matter how many times his beau will persuade, he just _had _to refuse.

"This is _not _almond flavored."

Eight times. He had _stated _that eight times, and if Shuda dares to refute again, he's going to stab the redhead in the eye. With this damn, belying _pretzel_.

"Oh, _God_, can't you just let it _go_?"

Exasperation was clear in his boyfriend's voice, but Sieg chose to ignore it for the sake of glaring at Shuda's ignorance.

"You actually expect _me _to pretend the fact that this is almond flavored when it's clearly _not_, just because the company behind this pretzel—"

"Pocky."

"—_pretzel_ printed it as such on its box?"

Shuda sighed, taking the box of Pocky away from Sieg's hand.

"It's enough to just like it and _eat _it. You don't have to criticize it."

"I'll do what I want."

"And you will _not _do what I do _not _want."

Sieg glared at his beau.

"You can't order me around just like that."

"Sieg, _please_. If you like it, eat it. If not, fine. I'll just finish it myself."

"But Shuda, you _obviously_ can't let me ignore that—"

"Will you shut up if I force you to make out with me then have wild monkey sex here on the couch?"

Silence. A long string of it. Shuda counted to five, and when Sieg only stared dumbly at him, he couldn't help but throw the box of opened Pocky away (to another couch, he hoped). Then he jumped on Sieg, throwing the unaware man onto his back with little care of the other's permission.

It's not like he needed one anyway.

* * *

"Hey, you know…"

The redhead grumbled, "Yeah?"

"It tasted like coffee."

A pregnant pause, then a sigh.

"Just go to sleep."

**END**


	16. 26: Nervous Breakdown

**Title:** Nervous Breakdown  
**Author:** Umi-chii  
**Pairing:** Shuda/Sieg  
**Fandom:** Rave  
**Theme:** #26 – if only I could make you mine

**Warning: **Drugs, wasted and pissy Sieg and desperate Shuda.  
**Disclaimer:** Umi-chii don't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

**Author's Note: **So while I was checking the theme list out of whim, I encountered this certain theme. It's a really melodramatic and sad theme. Until you start listening to ABS' Nervous Breakdown. Anyway, started writing this since ages ago, but stopped when muses ran away. And now, I'm back. Deadlines help.

* * *

**Nervous Breakdown**

_For 30_kisses, #26_

The room was heady; so heady with nicotine, so heady with marijuana, so heady with alcohol. The stench was so strong it made him gag when he entered the room. Even if more than half of the party people were gone from the conscious world, the music was still loud and eardrum splitting. Side stepping the mass of bodies lying around, all drunk and stoned, Shuda braved against the smell. He crossed the large room, batting away the smoke as if a wave of his arm could make them all disappear. Then there, he found it, at the farthest side of the room.

"Sieg?" He called out. He's couldn't identify each person, not with this kind of setting. Everything's so confusing and so dark, just like a nightclub on Experiment City's downtown on a wild Friday night. He tried calling out again, until his toe hit on something hard—probably a leg—and down he fell to his knees, arms bracing the fall.

"Damn," he swore, looking over his shoulder to check on whoever had tripped him. "Just a stoned guy, like every one of them." He ended up muttering to himself. Deftly, he picked himself up, watching not only what's standing ahead of him, but also on what's _lying _ahead of him. He didn't need to crack his head while looking for his wild room mate.

"Sieg!"

A giggle answered him; the voice sounded so familiar it scared him. Shuda quickened his pace, trying his best not to step on anyone in his hurry. "Sieg!" He tried calling again, but the giggle only got louder, before it broke into a raspy moan.

Five more steps, then he finally found his room mate, drunk and high. Shuda outwardly grimaced at the sight of his usually proud room mate reduced to nothing but a cheap whore clinging to a man he didn't recognize, moaning wantonly, half of his clothing already gone.

Or maybe he was wearing barely anything, Shuda thought. It's not a really well-kept secret about Sieg's wilder antics. That must be why so many tried to take advantage of him. It has to be.

"Suck it, baby," he heard the stranger whispered that kind of husky voice that always made Sieg melt and him sick. He can't take this anymore, not when he's standing here left to watch unless he moved a muscle.

"Oi!" He yelled through the blaring audio system, walking up to the pair. When neither of the two took notice of him, (he nearly shrieked when Sieg went to his knees) he stepped forward and stilled his metaphorical lion. Yeah, his metaphorical _lion_ that can _roar_.

"OI!" This time he screamed on top of his lungs, yanking Sieg's arm along the way, snapping the blue-haired man's jaw closed. "This guy's mine!" He yelled as he pulled Sieg up to his wobbly legs, forcing his room mate to steady himself.

"What the fuck?!" The stranger in his pompous white suit had exclaimed, but Shuda didn't really hear him, not when his ears were bleeding and he's too busy worrying over Sieg's poor state.

With another person's deadweight on his arms, Shuda retraced his track back out of the place, willing to do anything just to get out of here and put Sieg somewhere safe and not suicidal.

* * *

Shuda grimaced audibly when Sieg suddenly took a double take and threw up on his running shoes. There goes another month's worth of paycheck. Seriously, he must get Sieg to stop going these clubs, especially when Niebel's now running for Academia Council president. It wouldn't win Niebel much favor if people find out his brother is a gay strip-club regular.

"Oi…" He held the other by the arm as his other arm snaked around his waist. "Sieg?"

"Ngh…"

"Drunk again," Shuda muttered to himself before he leaned the other on the alleyway's wall. Sieg instantly fell to the ground, dragging the redhead along with him. "Oi!"

"Shut up…"

Startled, Shuda stared at his fallen friend for a while, deep into the look of pain blatantly displayed. Cautiously, he pushed back a strand of hair (thank God he's too drunk to realize this), tucking it behind an ear.

'Sieg?" He tried again, but the other didn't respond. Sieg was already out cold.

With a defeated sigh, he took the heavy load onto his hands, like the reluctant hero that he couldn't help but portray.

* * *

"Yeah, yeah…"

His head hurt. He had been staring at a ceiling fan that he knew shouldn't be in his room for the past five minutes, until he realized he also didn't sleep on a bed that's literally attached to the wall. And that his room wasn't so rundown like _this_.

"I know… what I heard…"

Turning his head, Sieg searched for this room's owner. His eyes landed on Shuda, who's still talking rather despairingly to the phone. He had been there for more than the past five minutes, judging that he did wake up to Shuda trying not to wake him up with his loud voice. Well, too bad he failed at that.

"Oi." Sieg rudely called him. Shuda didn't look his way, and instead, turned away as his voice lowered into whispers.

Sieg grabbed the dying, red alarm next to him and hurled it. It satisfied him a little when he heard a cry of pain.

"Pay attention when I call you."

"I'm not your bitch." The redhead snapped back, phone forgotten on the floor. "And damn it, don't throw your crap at me."

"It's broken anyway."

"That's not what I meant," Shuda growled, putting away the broken clock. Damn, there went another one. Sieg watched him carefully, noting how those biceps suddenly bulged then relaxed as if trying to calm down.

Then suddenly his head whirled and he groaned as blinding white burst out behind his eyelids, marching dwarves with hammers and pick axes started mining in his brain in the middle of an on-going mother of all rock concerts.

Totally not the best thing to wake up with. What the hell had he swallowed last night?

"Here," he heard the dorky redhead muttered to him, and blindly, he groped for whatever Shuda's handing. It took three tries before Shuda sighed in frustration, grabbing his mouth in a tight grip and meshed their lips together, tongue and fingers forcing his mouth open wide enough for water and what he assumed was an aspirin down his throat. The damn medicine was rough and painful to the throat even with the water (then again, lots spilled when he gagged) and he coughed and would had puked it out if Shuda wasn't a damn bastard and kept his mouth literally shut.

"That's what you get for always getting wasted," Shuda chastised him (what the fuck?) like them good for nothing prefect he used to be; only the effect was ruined when he sounded too breathy to be tolerable.

Annoyed, he shoved the redhead away, glaring as well. "Stay the fuck away," he growled, though he had to think real hard to focus on the root of his annoyance. Just what the fuck is wrong with him?

It pissed him off even more when Shuda only looked apologetic, staring at him sympathetically as if he needed any of it. Why does the damn moron always take up the role of a useless martyr?

Shuda turned away, grabbing his coat and wallet.

"I have to buy something. Don't forget to lock the door when you leave. You can leave the key underneath the doormat."

And then the redhead left just like that, because he knew that bastard can't handle facing him like a man. That coward always ran away from every fight. Couldn't even properly toss him out of his own house.

With a groan, Sieg flopped back on the bed, throwing an arm over his eyes. He'll leave in an hour, five minutes exactly before Shuda would stop hesitating and enter his own house.

* * *

**END**


	17. 1: A Spot of Bother

Title: A Spot of Bother  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: (past) Shuda/Sieg  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #1 – look over here

Disclaimer: Umi-chii don't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

A/N: Cattleya is a character I just can't bring myself to like. I just can't. Sieg shares my dislike.

* * *

**A Spot of Bother**

_For 30_kisses, #1_

The trip to Garage Island was a complete death penalty. It was a trip Shuda wanted to avoid as much as possible, and would have if possible. But then, Christmas reunion calls for it, and Sieg already had plans for the occasion, which was to antagonize Cattleya Glory until he rolled over in stomach cramps. The antagonizing episodes were fun and humorous while looking very much innocent and sincere, but Shuda didn't look over the notion that Sieg was doing it out of spite. The latter got a pinch on the sides for that.

The dishes were cleared, and half of the gang have already went back to the ship, the house not enough for all of them to stay over. Sieg stayed outside at the deck, finally bored and out of ideas. It was good while it lasted. Sighing, he rolled onto his sides, elbow resting on the wood and head on palm.

They'll be stuck in this god-forsaken island for the next two days, and Sieg wanted to make sure he wouldn't be wasting any time spent here. He had specially allotted two days of leave from work just for this. Even Niebel had skipped his magic schooling for two days just to accompany him in his terribly out-of-character pranks.

He can't let the time go to waste, especially when it's going to involve trapdoors and armies of mice in that wretched woman's lair. Just what did Shuda see in that woman? She's repulsive!

The sound of heavy soles echoed from afar. Amethyst eyes opened lazily; his fingers shifted a little to give space for his left ear. Finally, he rolled onto his back, eyes staring at glaring red ones. The boots stopped inches away from his head, and he flinched internally at the sight of caked dirt.

"Mind telling me what's the big deal?" Shuda asked softly, but Sieg could still pick up the angry tone. Well, the warrior has every right to be angry as much as he has every right to bully the poor girl. It's just that he didn't think Shuda has the right _not _to expect such a behavior from it—yes, even a childish one at that.

Flatly, Sieg told him, "I don't like her."

"And?"

"What?"

Shuda snorted, waving a hand dismissingly.

"I meant what does that have to do with all these… crap."

"In case you haven't noticed," Sieg glared at him, legs crossing as his arms remained stretched over the wooden deck. "I _dislike_ her entirely."

"And what're you going to do with it?" Shuda pressed, and this frustrated Sieg even more than it should. "It's not like I'll break up with her just because my ex is against it. Why are you even bothered anyway?"

"I'm not asking you to break up with her."

"You sure about that?"

"No, well, _yes_, but the point is…"

"The point is you still can't get over the past, but I want you to get over it, alright?"

Sieg didn't say a word, biting his tongue before he could say anything he didn't want to say. There's already a big rift between them ever since their great break-up, and Sieg was sure Iulius would be very grateful if they'd stop having this cold war even after break-up.

Not that there was much choice on the matter, of course. Sieg had every right to last out, considering he wasn't the one who called the break-up.

Right?

"Anyway, just… back off, alright?"

Sieg glared, and when Sieg glared, his temper wriggled free of his grasp. Snarling threateningly as hard as he could while lying up, Sieg mustered all his angers into his eyes, making sure _that idiot redhead_ would be the one backing off. And when Shuda did step back warily, a little of that anger in him diminished.

"Sometimes, I still can't understand why I dated you."

"Kiss my ass and you might know."

Shuda sighed in defeat. "Nevermind. Just stop it, alright? Or at least lessen the scare level."

The warrior turned and walked away, casually and unhurriedly, like he did three years ago. Noting this did nothing to cool his temper.

_But never mind_. It's not like he would stop amusing himself even with a death threat.

* * *

**END**


	18. 22:A Christmas w Sieg & the Demon Spawn

**Title:** Hoping you won't ask who I am  
**Fandom:** Rave  
**Pairing:** Shuda/Sieg (implied), Shuda/Cattleya  
**Disclaimer:** Still can't own Rave. Sad, isn't it?  
**Theme:** #22 - cradle  
**A/N:** I wonder what Sieg will be like if Shuda made him babysit his kid. Hurhur.  
**A/N2:** Considering that this was a complete hell to write, and also my least favorite, this was left unbeta-ed and unedited. So. Whatever error you'll find, grammatical, technical or whatnot, well. Deal with it.

* * *

**Hoping you won't ask me who I am**  
30_kisses, #8

It was a nice, cold winter night, the inside his home warmly lit by the hearth. Niebel was upstairs, probably reviewing for his finals (that kid is too studious) as he stayed here, in front of the fireplace with a book on his lap, eyeglasses perched on his nose. But nothing in the book is entering his mind, no single word registered as he stared at the fire dazedly, the flickering red tips oddly fascinating.

And it would've stayed like that for the rest of the night as the two spend their Christmas eve as usual if only Shuda didn't decide to call, breaking the aesthetic spell inside the Hart's residence.

Glaring at the phone, Sieg waited until it rang for the fifth time, wondering if it'll stop after the sixth. But when the seventh came, he gave up and snatched it from its cradle.

"What," he snapped without letting the customary 'Hello' reach his ears. And as expected, Shuda dodged his annoyance with ease. He hated it whenever the redhead did that.

"I need you over," Shuda said, his tone sounding urgent enough to grab half of Sieg's attention. Piqued, the time mage leaned back on his couch, counting down the number of reasons Shuda could have to need his help.

Then it came, like a bludgeoning rage of a giant off Mount Edel. "It's my kid."

Sieg didn't waste any more time to slam the phone down, loud and hard enough to shake the nearby photo frame. Niebel's grinning face shook, and so did his slightly smiled one.

He seriously didn't need to have Shuda rub his married status at his face, much less his recent fatherhood. He didn't need to know more than just _that_.

The phone rang again, and this time, he completely ignored it, long enough to force Niebel out of his room and downstairs, pouting at him as he held his book against his chest.

"At least be considerate to me," was all the kid said before withdrawing back to his room.

A slight pause from the phone, probably redialing, then it rang again. With a gloomy, grudging sigh, he finally answered it, albeit somberly.

"Fine," he said, again not letting the other line start first. It's not like normal people call him anyway unless seriously asking for help (or their imminent demise, as Niebel would put it).

"Really?"

"Do you not want me to?" He snapped, but as usual, Shuda didn't notice it (or pretended he didn't, that bastard). He must be grinning now, even punching air in victory. Bet that damn banshee is laughing along with him.

Niebel is going to pay for this. He seriously is.

Apparently, Shuda needed him this time to babysit his kid. Sieg wasn't pleased when he arrived at the (idiot) redhead's place to find this out. Neither was he when what he's going to babysit was a blubbering 2 year old, probably as crazy as the Glory's, and worse now that he was considering what Shuda's genes could actually hold.

"I hate you," he growled to the redhead the moment the front door opened. Shuda smiled again, fine lines forming around his eyes, and Sieg knew the other is showing off his age as much as Sieg was hiding his. Damn conspicuous old man.

"I'm glad you could come. Catt and I were scared we might not make it to the party."

"When the hell did you start going to parties?" Sieg sneered, entering the house without invitation. Technically, it's Shuda's house, but Shuda enters his house without any permission. Therefore such treatment should be reciprocated. Right.

The two entered the living room, warmly furnished with plush couches and a home system. Nifty. Bet it wasn't his idea, knowing what kind of person he is. Shuda would always prefer music over movies; that's a given fact. Only low people would prefer cheesy chickfliks over classical. That's what they call those abominable female creations, isn't it?

"Well, anyway," he heard Shuda said, very much aware of how much he's ignored. God, that banshee must have brainwashed his... what? Friend? Best man? One-time lover turned Ex-boyfriend? Oh, whatever.

"And the rest are in the kitchen. If you can't find something, just call me, alright?"

The happy couple deeply buried in their marital bliss gave their demon spawn a kiss before leaving. Sieg was sure he didn't imagine the warning look in Shuda's eyes. "Play nice," he said. Sieg didn't bother feigning innocence like he usually does.

To say his Christmas Eve was uneventful would be lie. To say he spent his Christmas Eve was uneventful would be a greater lie. But to say his Christmas Eve was a blast would be a bigger lie. Eventful, as the term connotes (and how it's abused)—maybe. Wonderful? Utterly no. Given a chance without any catch attached, he would gladly commit homicide on the toddler. But alas, he can't (as of now) for he'll be making his friend-turned-best-man-but-is-apparently-his-one-time-lover-slash-ex-boyfriend childless. He bet his ass that banshee won't be able to reproduce anymore.

Yes, he greatly believed that the married couple had the A Sex per Wedding Night syndrome. Never mind the pre-marital sex.

The house's lovely (he avoided the nursery, kitchen and definitely the living room as much as he could—meaning, he took shelter by the door like a good dog. Not that he'd admit he'll make a good dog. A master, maybe) and very warm atmosphere broke with a shrill infant's cry that made Sieg shriek and jump off his seat _on the floor_.

_That_ fucking made his heart miss a beat. Panting, he waited for his heart to regain its normal rate before delivering the damn baby a good glare. And then he snarled when he realized that kid wouldn't be able to distinguish a vengeful ex-lover's glare to a doting mother's gaze. Damn.

He approached the cradle apprehensively (must ignore the temptation to poke it first with a yard stick before stepping a foot near it)—only to find it empty. Fucking _empty_. Nothing but air and pillows and where the fuck was that brat?

"You have got to be kidding me," he swore under his mumble.

Five minutes later, he had treated himself to sight-seeing inside the entire first floor only to find it _fucking empty_ of a damn two-year old runt. How the hell can a _thing_ that small get out of its cradle, and now _missing_, without him noticing it firsthand? For crying out loud, he was sitting right across the damn cradle! (Okay, maybe not _exactly _across it. A room across, probably. But still _counts_.)


	19. 29: Like the Orchids

**Title:** Like the Orchids  
**Author:** Umi-chii  
**Pairing:** Shuda/Sieg  
**Fandom:** Rave  
**Theme:** #29 – the sound of the waves  
**Disclaimer:** Umi-chii still can't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

**A/N: **Currently listening to the ending theme of Moon Child, that post-modern vampire movie featuring Gackt, Hyde and Wang Leehom. Anyway… the song is nice. Really nice. I'm always moved whenever I hear it. It's worth a fic.

* * *

**Like the Orchids**

_For 30_kisses, #29_

It has always been such a calming routine, to come all the way here to the south and just stroll down the beach. The worries of the world are behind us. Everything is just us. Just me and him, nobody and nothing else in between.

We never know what it is between us, but we never mind. We just pretend there is something, and we act on it. It isn't really that hard, to be honest. In fact, being honest—maybe—is the key to our happiness, no matter how short-lived and long-distance it became. Still, I never regretted it, and I never will.

I am happy, so to speak. Content, maybe. But definitely happy. And it took me so damn long to just suck it all up and accept everything as it is. Never mind the rocker hair or the scruffy beard, or the whole hermit act. It is as what I would like to call it: just a phase.

Question is: am I still going through that phase? Well, no. I'm over it already. Like I said, it wasn't easy, and it definitely wasn't a comfy road. But I made it, like I always have, and I'm sure he'll be proud of me for once in his life—or afterlife, whatever may feel right.

Although it never escapes my thought if—and only if he is still here, alive, kicking and very much engrossed with his bubbling cauldron and clock—he will ever be happy with me. Will he stay… rather, will he ask me to stay? Stay with him, I mean. I honestly don't know the answer to that, and I guess I never will unless he did that magic trick of his back in the war. It's quite cool to have the ability to create a time-travelling messenger bird.

Back to the thought at hand… I supposed he will come to it, at one point of his life though I do not know where that point is. Knowing him, it will definitely take up quite a good amount of our time. Who knows, he might only think of it once we are in our fifties, and he's finally realizing even he can age and I will still look young no matter my age (and after hitting me in the shoulder for saying that).

Nonetheless, I just know. That thought, that idea… it's just there, somewhere, at the very back of my mind, tugging my heart every now and then at the sight of anything familiar. By the way, do you know that purple orchids always make me think of him? Yeah, they do. He likes orchids. Flowers are actually the only thing he spends his money on. He's such a frugal person it amazes me the little kid was able to live a happy and contented childhood. Then again, this is someone coming from poverty line commenting about a fourteen year old brat that had a royalty for a guardian (whose inheritance was passed to him, luckily).

Well, it's a good thing then that the kid constantly sends me some extra cash to buy extra orchids on every New Year. His kind of orchid (I forgot the name; all I know is that it's purple, like his eyes) is quite the expensive one. I always buy it as a wreath, which he used to and hang it on his wall as if it's a non-Christmas decoration.

So, with two wreaths of orchids on hand, I stroll down the beach, the sound of the wave calm and peaceful, the afternoon rays of the setting sun warm and beautiful. Reminds me of the many years when we would painstakingly set a day just for this ritual: a stroll on the beach, holding hands and so in love it'll make your stomach sick, complete with tender, soft kisses that can really give you cavities. It's not the most pleasing image to have in your mind, especially if it involves two very manly adult men acting so girly and romantic. But you have to admit; it's the best memory one can ever have, especially if it's left behind by that same person you'll never stop loving no matter the years passed by.


	20. 23: For Old Time's Sake

Title: For Old Time's Sake  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #23 – candy  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii still can't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

A/N: Universe wherein everyone is alive, it's Christmas season… and Auld Lang Syne. =w=

* * *

**For Old Time's Sake**

_For 30_kisses, #__23_

Niebel smiles warmly at the Christmas tree standing tall and bright in the middle of their flat. The Glorys and the Raregrooves went to the forest just beyond the hill to get it early this morning while the girls did the decor, much to his and Shuda's delight. Every year, they're the ones who have to do the nasty job since Sieg insists he can't leave the kitchen 'just to fetch a tree'. "If you want a pumpkin pie and a turkey on the table, you do it," Sieg always says.

The more Niebel stares at the colorful tree, the more he's glad he suggested to host this year's Christmas reunion. Having these many people in his and Sieg's house really warms the place up that he is certain he'll still feel the Christmas spirit even after New Year.

Lucia and Levin are decorating the fireplace with Christmas socks while the grandfathers fill each up with candy canes and red liquorices. At the same time, the Glory's two ladies are putting up the mistletoe on the archway separating the sitting room from the kitchen, and oddly enough, it's Shuda who's directing. Niebel almost laugh out loud at the sight of the battle-hardened man posed with hands perched on his hips. The red, Christmas sweater and reindeer headband he's wearing only made him even more amusing to the eyes, and surely enough, Musica joins in the laugh seconds later.

Shrill, girly cries immediately fill the sitting room when Sieg comes out from the kitchen, holding a tray of gingerbread men, clueless of the sudden commotion. Niebel watches with bated breath as the time mage blinks widely at everyone. Shuda grits his teeth when Sieg quirked a fine eyebrow at him.

"What?" Sieg asks, baffled by everyone's reaction. Somewhere in the back of the room, Lucia snickers loudly.

Shaking his head, Shuda points at the mistletoe. Sieg follows the finger's direction, and Niebel is certain the sorcerer groans worse than Levin does when Plue steals his lollipop.

"You've got to be kidding me," Sieg moans in protest. "This is completely unfair."

Every girl in the room giggles in turn, even Cattleya. Vaguely, Niebel is glad she's not touchy with the fact that Sieg and Shuda used to be an It couple.

"Come on, Clockboy," Lucia calls from the fireplace, grinning ear to ear. "Don't be such a wuss."

"Sorry, Sieg, but I'm completely with Lucia here," Haru chimes in with a huge smirk.

Sitting on Niebel's lap, little Rosa tugs his shirt and innocently remarks, "But they're both men."

The teenager can only smile at Shuda's daughter before ruffling her hair. And when Sieg shyly kisses Shuda on the corner of his lips, igniting a long round of complaints and demands of something more than just a peck, Niebel sits back and let little Rosa snuggle happily into his arms. It's good, and all is well.

"For old time's sake."

**END**


	21. 2: Love, Save the Empty

Title: Love, Save the Empty

Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg (implied)  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #2 – news; letter  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii still can't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

A/N: Listening to Mano Zeme while writing this. Also, this is pre-canon, so the characters are younger here, and Shuda is still a bounty hunter and Sieg isn't a busy Time Guardian yet. And somehow, Iulius is Sieg's (self-proclaimed) best friend.

* * *

**Love****, Save the Empty**

_For 30_kisses, #__2_

There are three things that Sieg tries to avoid as much as he can: Iulius, mistletoes, and pollen, in any order. Sadly, they are also the three things that Sieg can never escape from no matter how hard he tries.

Iulius leans on the fridge door, arms crossed and grinning wildly at the grumbling (and sniffling) time mage who's concocting another potion on the stove to get rid of the rashes. Sieg has already unabashedly announced his complete distaste in having his childhood friend (_really_) over, which Iulius just ignored like he always does. He knows his best friend is quite shy when it comes to admitting his emotions.

"So, up to when exactly are you going to keep ignoring me?"

Sieg just grunted like the Grinch that he occasionally is during Christmas and throws a stem of what looks like a fig. Iulius' face scrunches up when Sieg throws a rat's tail into the bubbling cauldron.

"Why can't you just go to the drugstore and buy some anti-allergy cream or medicine like every ordinary person?"

"Because there is no drugstore in Mildean, and the nearest one is outside the city and over the bloody ice mountain."

Iulius snorts loudly and rolls his eyes. "What a city you live in. So ancient."

"Traditional."

"_Legendary._ This city is the kind of city that old history books talks about." Iulius glances at the silver refrigerator he's leaning on. Maybe not quite. "I just cannot fathom why you insist on staying here."

Finally, Sieg turns away from his potion making and stares at Iulius as if silently asking him where his head has gone to. "This is my home. I like it here, no matter how backtracked it is."

"Backtrack," Iulius mutters sardonically before throwing a rather ominous look at the equally terrifying content of the cauldron. "Sieg, are you sure that is safe? I think I just saw you throw an eyeball in."

Shrugging, Sieg throws another eyeball in. "It's perfectly safe, trust me. I've been using this for twenty years."

Neither spoke a word for the next few minutes. Iulius takes seat behind the island counter and is in the middle of watching Sieg finishing his potion when the wizard stepped away from the cauldron to sigh. Frowning, Iulius coughs to make his friend share the thought. Sieg kept his silence though before going back to his potion.

Honestly, Iulius doesn't know what he should do anymore to make the other open up. It took him ten years of persistence just to be able to step a foot into Sieg's home, and another ten to start a conversation. He figures they'll be in their fifties by the time Sieg is comfortable enough to share a secret or a personal opinion.

"—moving in."

Iulius blinks widely. Did he just miss something?

"Moving in? What do you mean moving in?"

Sieg turns around to fix him another good stare. "You know, _moving in_. Asking another person, usually someone you think is your significant other, to move his belongings to your place, share personal living quarters with each other like a domestic couple and start a life with you as his lifelong partner."

Iulius felt his jaw drop. He really did miss something.

"Wait. Can you please repeat this right from the start? I don't think I got—"

"You weren't listening," Sieg interrupts in disbelief. His eyebrows look like they can stab each other already. Uh-oh. "I can't believe you. I _can't _believe you. Just when I finally thought you're worth..."

"Hey!" he quickly cuts in before the wizard can start another tirade about _his _inattentive (which happens quite a lot actually, not that Sieg isn't used to it yet). Best to make a wild guess and hope he got it right. It's not like there are a lot of suicidal people in this world stupid enough to ask _Sieg_ to do the sacramental act of moving in. Usually, it's the other way around—wait. Sieg doesn't invite anyone over unless he's drunk and horny.

Iulius makes sure to take a deep breath to show that he did listen and that he's just taken aback by the news. Really, he is. Well, more on the moving in than the 'who'. Not that Sieg has to know about that, of course.

"Are you telling me that Shuda asks you to move in with him?"

Slowly, Sieg nods, which only made Iulius feel like fainting. Damn that bounty hunter and his wily ways. No way in hell is _he _going to agree to this arrangement, not when he gives a damn about his best friend's well-being, and leave Sieg in the hands of that bloody bastard. It's like throwing him into a pit of wolves.

"No."

"What?" Sieg blinks owlishly. "What do you mean 'no'?"

"You possible can't be thinking of agreeing to that," Iulius adds. "That guy is... a nutcase. He's a rebel, a _murderer _for money. He's uncouth, classless, an outcast—"

"I think I got your point," Sieg cuts in boredly. "You can now stop insulting his moral character."

"I'm not insulting him! I'm merely stating how dangerous he is! Especially for you!"

The infamous Look Sieg is giving him now somehow tells him he's fighting at the wrong side of the field.

Well, no shit, Shiba. He can't be serious right? It took him _ten years_ just to be able to get invited in! How long did it take that bastard to get into Sieg's pants, exactly?

"To answer that thought of yours that I can, by the way, plainly see in your eyes: ten minutes. And it was a really hot kiss. He's quite the kisser, you know."

This time, Iulius' jaw literally dropped. "That was a highly inappropriate and TMI kind of information."

"But," Sieg quickly adds before Iulius could start _his _tirade, "he is not you. You're my best friend. He's just..."

"A distraction."

"Temporary partner," Sieg corrects. Iulius doesn't like the sound of that word. "But the point is that you should really stop comparing yourself to every guy that knocks on my door asking to be let in. They're not like you."

"Like me like what?" Iulius scowls darkly. "Obnoxious? Vain? Narcissistic? _Smart_?"

"I never said those," Sieg answers coolly. "I merely meant I am not being critical with them because I am not letting them to be my friend, you dolt, and you know how important and valuable a friend truly is to me."

"Yeah, right..." Iulius mutters in turn. He'd rather not look at his best friend in the eyes right now, not when Sieg isn't turning off The Look yet. He has the feeling Sieg won't stop it until he acknowledges the fact that he understands, which Iulius doubts he'll ever do. Understanding Sieg is like understanding archaic runes.

Minutes pass and they both keep quiet. Iulius continues to sulk in his seat, images of Sieg packing up his things and moving out of Mildean and selling his flat flash in his mind, rolling like a film reel. It only stops when he felt warm, gentle hands holding his, squeezing them as if reassuring him that everything will be alright.

Sieg's face is still the emotionless facade that it has become after years of being stuck in that stupid magician's camp, but Iulius can see the slight upward quirk of those lips, that very special smile that Iulius knows a _true friend _can only see and receive.

"It'll be okay. I'll still be living here, you can still visit, and I'll always try to avoid the pollens so I don't have to open the door just to see you."

And really, how can someone not grin like a fool when he hears those words coming from a friend of twenty years and counting?

"You really are something, you know that?"

"Yeah," Sieg agrees with a smirk. That, at least, is something that not even those old mages can steal from his friend. "I know that perfectly well."

And with a hug, both decide to move to the sitting room to enjoy some friendly moment.

"So how was the sex?"

**END**


	22. 19: Desolation, my name is

Title: Desolation, my name is  
Author: Umi-chii  
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg  
Fandom: Rave  
Theme: #19 – red

Disclaimer: Umi-chii still can't own Rave. Hiro Mashima still does.

A/N: This is a bit, er, poetic and full of nouns. And present tense. And also another practice on psychedelic writing. Not that it is that successful, obviously.

* * *

**Desolation, my name is**

_For 30_kisses, #__19_

Green blades of grass bow down to death with each of his passing step, a battle of unspoken emotions raging inside of him. Courage wields its blades against Fear as Trepidation hides away from Uncertainty, Strength lost in the midst of the fight, not knowing anymore which to side. Anger rises above them all, and so does Hatred, who has grown to become Wrath and vows vengeance as Hope lies helpless and defeated at the very bottom like in Pandora's Box, trampled by all of the rest.

Not knowing what to feel, not knowing what to think; it is a struggle against the Self where the Soul is at stake. It is a gamble that he must partake and this terrifies his shaking heart. How will he know which is the right path? There is no sign here. What more can pacify the growing anxiety planted deep inside of him, haunting his every thought, creeping in the darkest corner of his mind as he makes each decision, big and small?

He does not wish to see the carnage that will be brought by his own emotions. It is like watching the dam cracking under the pressure, like a sack of sand threatening to burst by the seams.

He does not know what to do nor what to feel. All he knows is to run and hide, to cower behind a wall erected by stubborn ignorance.

This is not what he wishes, yet it is what Fate has given him. What more can he do?

Shuda does not know when he started caring. All he knows is that he began to look at the other in a different light, taking note of things that he normally does not mind. It isn't something that happens frequently, and this realization only puzzles him more than ever. Just what does the sorcerer possess that makes him this curious? It is as if some sort of enchantment was casted on him and he doesn't know what to do with it.

But Shuda knows, and he is aware that there is no outside interference here. This is him and purely _him_.

He watches the sorcerer's every move like a hawk; pale lips curling into a snarl, eyes narrowing in annoyance, displaying the blatant irk from within–

Shuda knows them all, knows the meaning and the reason behind each gesture or movement, and worst of all, he knows what will come after. And he worries what all these knowledge means.

He can't know this much from just observing the man. It has to entail something else – something that he is afraid of learning.

The first time it happened, neither of them expected it.

They were each walking on their own respective side of the corridor and not minding the existence of the other.

Sieg, for all he cares, does not even realize there was someone else breathing the same air he breathes. He was too engrossed with his own thoughts, too busy labeling every emotion warring inside of him. All he knows was that something from a near distance suddenly grabbed him by the arm before tackling him to the ground, and he was too surprised for a second or two to fully comprehend the situation. It is only when he was staring at the stone ceiling of the corridor did he realize that there is another man on top of him, grunting and scrambling back up to his mountain boots-clad feet with a sword on hand.

He remembers staring at the broad back of the stocky man, all hardwired muscle and brawn and action. There is something raw emanating from the man that it takes Sieg more effort than necessary to assess just what was going on. There was the sudden blossoming of _something _inside of him, so muchlike a rosebud that he quickly nips it before it turns into something else. He ignores every warning signal blaring from all sides, nothing red flashing all around him, and quickly returns to reality where he is needed more.

And by the end of the day, when all thanks were given and names were exchanged and he cannot think of anything else but that pair of piercing red eyes that looks more like solidified blood than rubies, they separated ways. He returned to his own path, yet his mind and body was too affected by those calloused hands and hard muscle that for once since his stay in this cold, barren castle, he felt the touches and the caress and the stray kisses that he fooled himself to believe belonged to him, to that man with crimson red eyes.

**END**


	23. 3: And here I thought I knew better

**And here I thought I knew better**

Prompt: #3 – jolt!

A/N: The theme and the challenge itself is very vague here as their relationship was in the past and Shuda was being his daft self here. This happened during Shuda and Iulius' raid in the Blue Guardians after beating the hell out of Deep Snow and before the big fight against Hardner.

* * *

There were so many things he could have fought for but never once had he thought to fight for peace or the betterment of the world. He was a bounty hunter by birth, a warrior by fate. The thirst for battle was a part of him as much as the blood that flows in his veins. Yet never once in his entire life had he thought he would end up in this path. He had always envisioned himself as someone who didn't care that much to actually bother about the state of the world.

"Well," Iulius continued talking as if Shuda hadn't tried to shut him up seconds ago, "people always underestimate themselves in so many ways. Just because you think you're this someone headstrong doesn't mean you cannot have fear of heights. I mean, look at Sieg."

This time, Shuda actually paused from bashing one of Hardner's lackeys with the butt of his sword to stare at Iulius, puzzled. "What's with Sieg?"

A henchman went flying over his head that Shuda skilfully evaded. Iulius faced him with a knowing gaze in his eyes, belying the usual display of utter stupidity and cluelessness. "Sieg has always been riddled with so many personal problems since God knows when that it's a wonder he can even _work_. But do we know that? No, we don't at all. It's because he seems so perfectly cool and well-poised and he always knows what to say that we don't even think he's human, and thus he's also bound to have this trivial problems like normal people do."

Shuda almost asked the other swordsman when he became this articulate or observant if some idiot hadn't suddenly tackled him to the ground. After a well placed knee to the idiot's belly, Shuda pushed himself back up to regain his place against Iulius' back.

The narcissist was right. Shuda had always seen himself as an aloof, uncaring man, yet there he was, fighting back-to-back with _the _insufferable Iulius to save the motley crew of heroes led by the Rave Master, all the while exchanging philosophical ideas with said ex-colleague.

"I have to admit though," Iulius finally said after they wiped off every Blue Guardian sent their way, "I was completely surprised when Sieg told me you used to be together. Now _that _I completely did not even think was possible even if a cow can jump over the moon."

To be honest though, that had happened way, _way _back before Shuda even know what kind of person Sieg really was—or rather, _is_, considering that the Sieg he used to know _way, way back _was completely different from the Sieg the Time Guardian they all know now. Or maybe Sieg just suffers a mild personality disorder and Shuda had the misfortune of meeting the nicer Sieg before knowing the nastier Sieg.

"The Prince Sieg is definitely nicer than the Guardian Sieg though," Shuda ended up thinking out loud, loud enough to blurt it out without forethought, much to the complete surprise of Iulius. Even after seconds of being stared at rather shockingly, Shuda was still at a great loss that he had to ask his companion a rather indignant "What?"

It was only when Iulius remained gaping at him, obviously frozen in shock, did Shuda actually bother to go over what he had said. Then realization dawned on him as slow as the sun rises.

"Oh. You didn't know?"


	24. 18: Wiping these tears away

**Wiping these tears away**

Prompt: #18 - "say ahh..."

A/N: I love it when I have new soundtrack albums to listen to. It keeps the creative juices flowing.  
A/N2: Takes place behind the scene, after the abrupt scene change when Shuda confronts Sieg in the fallen Imperial HQ.  
A/N3: I took the prompt in the context of someone being sick and having to take a medicine. **Also: there be vague porn.**

* * *

The rain does not stop. It continues on, relentless, battering their bodies, washing away all of the stain on the cracked soil of the desolate land. It is the very capitol of death, the wasted, barren land. Irony strikes with no mercy, and it strikes, indeed, with such power that no one foresaw. Thousands of lives the Emperor has expended for the sake of retaining his power, and thousands of useless, fruitless lives he has govern.

He is like any of those lives. He is like any foot soldier put under a general's command. Given away without any second thought, before he can even open his eyes; he is expendable, just like everybody else. But that does not devalue his sympathy, and it does not excuse him from that sudden ache in his chest when he arrived there at the site of destruction, broken bodies strewn everywhere like scraps after a hurricane. It does not stop him from shaking in anger and pity for himself at the sight of the gruesome corpse, the face he barely knew mangled beyond recognition. The tiny hope he has kept at the very back of his mind, the only string he has that ties him to his real self—all of it, wiped away like dust.

The roaring thunder stops him from drowning himself in self-pity. And now that his mind is finally clear of all the darkness, of all the emotions that he has suddenly reacquired after years of suppression, he realizes he is not as heartless as he has been painted to become. Whatever Shuda has said, he is as human as a child, and as a child, he will forever yearn for the parents he has never had the chance to have. He might have never told anyone about it or utter the mere idea of it, but the thought of it stays in his mind, a constant companion, if not an irksome one.

Cheated. He feels so greatly cheated, slapped and backhanded, face slammed by the door—everything and anything that is of equivalent to the emptiness that suddenly appears and begins to eat his tailored composure away, and this startles him more than anything else, that someone who he is not even acquainted with can bring forth such an emotion from him. So little was spent, none actually, yet so much was given. It is unheard of, and Sieg does not like to believe that blood truly runs thick and perhaps thicker than common sense.

"How long are you going to spend there? Until your bones have turned into ice?"

He will forever be grateful though of Shuda's presence. If it wasn't for the swordsman, he might have already wallowed in something even worse than self-pity, and that he does not even want to believe is possible. The sudden outburst of so many unnameable emotions in him is enough.

The sky has turned black, starless and dark and solemn, as if the heaven itself is in mourning with him. But he is not mourning for the dead, and neither is he mourning for himself. No, he is mourning for that child in him that died, murdered the moment the last of his family leaves the living, that child that will never be able to have what other children have, that child whose hope is shredded and torn apart without any hint of remorse, and he pities that child who will never be able to join the parents that he barley know in the next world for how can he seek them when he does not even know them?

Shuda watches Sieg drenching himself out there in the cold rain. The mage has been standing under the pressure of the rain for almost three hours, since it begins to pour, and despite dragging him inside the barely surviving building Shuda has found, the mage still steps out into the rain.

Sieg has his head bowed at first, watching unseeingly at the earth wetted with both blood and mud, and Shuda believes with tears as well when the mage has raised his head towards the sky, eyes closed almost serenely that belies the warring emotions inside him.

Shuda can never understand the man that is Sieg, try as he might. It makes him guilty though when he realizes that the mage is as capable of feeling as any human that breathes and lives. He must have been too harsh in giving judgments to a man that rarely receives one, and now that Sieg has received such a cruel remark from him, the mage must be gruelling himself over it.

Ah, maybe he should step out as well and snap the mage out of it.

And he's glad he did. If he hadn't, the mage would have cracked his head open with how he suddenly collapsed lifelessly the moment Shuda steps a foot out of their little shelter from the rain.

Cradling the unconscious body of the mage, Shuda curses silently when his hand brushes against a wet forehead burning with fever, and even he can tell it is a fever with how the shivers coursing through the mage's body is not caused by a disturbed psyche.

Carrying the unconscious mage back to their hideout is no real challenge, and this only alarms Shuda of the unordinary lightness of the mage's body. It is only when he has already laid Sieg on the ground and bare of all the wet clothes did Shuda question himself on what he should do next. Nevertheless, he does not like the idea one bit.

Sieg wakes up to something hitting his chest and the air he breathed stolen from his lungs with a gasp. There is something hard and clammy wrapped all over him, and he does not like how it is tickling him in places he doesn't know he's ticklish in. Squirming a little to get away from that wretched thing, he cracks one eye open and instantly he snaps fully awake and more than just aware of his surroundings.

"Nngh..." Shuda groans in his sleep, and the arm slung over Sieg's chest pulls him against a chest. A very hard and muscled chest.

Sieg swallows the metaphorical butterfly from flying out of his mouth, body taut with tension. It does not help when he realizes it's not the normal, acceptable kind of nakedness.

Futilely, Sieg pushes the arm away only to have it move down and around his waist, and when that move ends up turning Sieg onto his side, back against that chest he almost damned, Sieg is completely sure the Fates are conspiring against him.

He clenches his eyes shut and bites his lower lip hard enough to break skin and pretends he's as still as a rock, even when something moved and slithered southwards and he moved in sync as well and before long, he's shivering not in cold but in heat, and he loses himself to apprehension knowing it is no ordinary physical heat as his body loses the little semblance of control left in him with an almost painful moan.

Panting, Sieg squeezes the arm wound tightly around his hips and half-heartedly curses the man pressed hotly against him.

"You..."

"Better?"

Once again, Sieg tenses, the butterflies inside him forcefully clawing their way out of his belly. The audible peck on the juncture between his neck and shoulder only worsens the state of his guts, and Sieg is glad he's turned away from Shuda right now. Heaven knows what sort of bodily harm he could have inflicted on the redhead.

"Sorry," the swordsman mutters against his shoulder, the hand still stuck down there now lazily drawing some circular pattern on his thigh. "Couldn't think of anything else that'd work."

Of course the swordsman would do something completely barbaric yet instinctual.

"You're supposed to be the normal one here," Sieg answers softly, fighting back the urge to turn around and face the man that eased the stress out of him. His hands itch to do so, and he thinks it must have shown with how he clutches onto the arm that has become his lifesaver.

So he just leans back, resting his head against the other arm that is half flesh and half metal. He watches the stillness of the steel hand, imagining the thousands of connected wires inside of it and how one wrong move can blow him up.

Without thinking, Sieg reaches out and touches the smooth surface of the prosthetic hand, fingers sliding down the metal until intertwining and holding it as he would with a real one. "You always have the flair for the dramatics."

"True," Shuda murmurs, chuckling softly, as he orders his false hand to return the gesture. "But you always like the dramatics."

Sieg allows himself a small smile while his back is still turned.

"Mmm..."

But he knows, and he is sure, that without having to witness it visually, Shuda can tell. Somehow, in some manner or form, Shuda can always tell, and however hard Sieg tries, he can never hide even just a trace of worry once Shuda puts himself to searching for it. It comforts him though to know that despite not having the set of parents to care for him and for him to turn to given any circumstances, he at least has somebody else who he can trust to catch him if he falls.

**END**


End file.
